^~`~`tHe f!r3 wIthIn`~`~^

one day...

2005-12-28T22:11:00.000+08:00

Well.. i've decided to more or less abandon this blog till... well something happen ba...for now i'll stick to the normal pen and diary...at least its personal and,unless someone goes thru it..yup..

perhaps one day when i am ok le, den i'll come visit this blog again...there's too much meaning yet meaningless now.

.

2005-12-22T20:50:00.000+08:00

Within a day, my life has changed

But somethings will never change

There is no need to explain to anyone

Just as long as you and I understand

I've waited and i'll wait.

P.S I'll probably not blog in a very long time, bcoz i don't wish to reveal much on my blog anymore, till someday i guess.

bu shuang wif myself

2005-12-18T21:15:00.000+08:00

feeling so fat and bloated nw...feelin warm too...den gastric now...wa chao sian now...feeling so erm irritated wif my body...haha, serious! like some at attack, all pushing to be in the limelight,to be exposed...urgh...den stomach keep bu shu fu...make me sweat more, then i bushuang more...haha...enuff of these bu shaung things...

its table tennis camp tmr! yup till wed...mmm, hope i survive...i will de la, oni the slping part i'll find some way to fight it...they better lemme haf enuff peaceful slp..if nt i'll scream man...hehe...

A fairytale indeed.

2005-12-16T20:21:00.000+08:00

Heard this song... its really beautiful, sang by celine dion - Because you loved me.

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believedI'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believedI'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believedI'm everything I am
Because you loved me

-

2005-12-16T16:37:00.000+08:00

Don't you mess with me.

Try taking me for a fool.

I am heartless.

OUT.

mass dance (:

2005-12-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

today woke up early..didn jog coz knee still pain, den study a little...went to sch to learn mass dance! yeah! it was fun...tiring...but worth it! as usual i damm slow learner...thx god yeechuin,pinqi they all v patient wif me...johnathan was funny...haha..but still got several moves i hafta work on it...but i am determined to master it man!

got home...ate ate ate...damm, den feel guilty, so go down jog..haha came up i ate somemore...so like no diff...sian diao, at tis rate i m nv gg to lose weight can? i can forget bout cheerleading at tis rate...heh...and i pray to stars god and wadeva their maybe that we wun change houses nxt yr =.=

seriously sian

2005-12-12T19:27:00.000+08:00

my life like v sian...haha i whole day update oso bout training de...anw today went to sch, nv late eh! haha but i nv run coz like my knee hurts alot...den today 7 people went for trg...haha den coach nv come..we played comp lor. it was ok ba... after tt went to meet up wif jawi do LA... went tp lib zap several stuff...went home, placed some pieces of puzzle into place...slept slept slept....oh not forgetting i ate alot too. not feeling hungry again..bleah...

i need to find something constructive to do.

quick one...

2005-12-11T01:05:00.000+08:00

mm like so long nv update..quick one! today woke up, studied, went to tutor the boy. ohohoh! i bought a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle! like eons nv played wif it le! so ilike spend 2 over hours n haf oni completed like a piglet? heh..nvm, i will jiayou on it de, coz its a surprise! (:

feeling hungry nw....eeewww...and haven been slping well/enuff or the past few days...so i am now a certified rare panda!

P.S do cucumbers work? =P

not a gd day

2005-12-07T22:51:00.000+08:00

today's trg was tough...like non-stop de...and i bet i spend like half of my trg trying to la1 the ball and i keep doing it wrongly..sigh...den trg was tough oso bcoz i tink coach abit bu shuang...bcoz like oni 8 ppl turned up for trg? sigh...why always like tt de...so half of the trg i was getting pissed at myself for nt being able to hit the ball properly...den the other half of the trg i was diao-ing someone. hmph. PT make so much noise...then after trg(we practice service so floor all balls) that someone juz wun help to pick the balls, keep the net or table juz sat there like a king. hmph!

tired and unhappy...went for lunch..ended up eating alot..i unhappy sure eat de ma...but ate yam paste...haha then later ok le. yam paste nv fail to cheer me up! (:

den another tink gt me tinking again...sigh...its qt a common issue for me at least...and its tiring me out...at least it doesn't bother me that much anymore... am i really the IP girl wif the really short skirt? sigh...its been v long le tis issue...like can ppl stop labelling others? so wad if i wear a short skirt, or long skirt or no skirt at all? muz ppl judge others like tt? i mean, wad right do they haf? nw i am only pouring all the thoughts out...at least am not as angry as in the past(beginning of the yr)...i mean when one go thru all the diffucult things/times...wad is all these? xi guan jiu hao...bitch ye hao, short skirt ye hao, black face ye hao... i am i... do u tink i care wad u tink? u tink u are tt important in my life to make me pissed? haha (:

thoughts

2005-12-04T00:01:00.000+08:00

We live in a world of ...NOT our own

that's what i learnt today... we can never live in a world of our own, so we have to start considering others. We do live our life the way we want it, the way we like it, but there are often times you cant always go your way. Life's not a 100% yours, thou theoretically it is... we don't live a life in solitude, NEVER, bcoz theoretically from birth, your mum need to give birth to you. Then there'll be the doctors and nurses who take care of you. (ok i know this is a little outta pt, but it only further proves my point.) (Ok, this is more or less my reflection, not argumentative essay...lol)

Which means that you already owe your life to others, people who bring you to this world. Then there'll be people who go through hard work to bring you up. You may feel that they ain't giving you the best, not the best toys, best books, best education, best life, when say, you compare to a best friend or just any ordinary body else. But, they've already done something for you. You can't deny that?

Well, i guess i am saying alot bcoz of my family discussion/quarrel tonight... i suppose in my 15 yrs of life, i've never put my family into much consideration or given them much thought. Many things i do, i do them for myself, for my benefit, for my happiness. But i've never cared if they were happy. Yes, sometimes i am unhappy as well because they make me do things i do not like. But i still do them bcoz i need to. That's why life is just not yours (from the negative pt). However, can one alone ever be happy? Loneliness is probably one of the worst sufferings on earth, one need others in his/her life to fill up the spaces and to add the different shades of colour. While others colour our world, we too must repay, or the world would stop spinning one day. The colours that others add may be bright and cheerful or dark and dreadful...but that's just what life is. I mus admit i have not learnt how to care/take others into consideration. So i shall start learning.

After typing the above, i still am confused and deep in thoughts...will further organise them soon (:

damm pissed

2005-12-01T18:26:00.000+08:00

i am damm bloody pissed..should haf known it right from the start tt it would be a disaster..imagine ur grp member, giving u her part of the work 1 wk after the deadline oni to find that its a DAMM website(yep, no info attached, juz a website) which was of no relevance to her part of research? and want to find her nw, oni to find she's outta of spore. OH PLS! WTH!

and i guess i wouldn be tis bloody pissed if nt for smt else...that thing that had pissed me in the past, and now, and i predict the future as well if nothing is done...i seriously wonder at times if wad i haf been doing is right, wad i AM doing is right...because now i tink..it all seem stupid and as if i had taken the wrong path..i dunno and cannot decide now because my mind and heart is in a whirl...carn tink straight now...oni noe mood damm bad, so dun even dare to chat now..bcoz i noe i'll juz flare up at the slightest thing...god save me...or juz anyone...anyone to save me, show me a lighted path, a somewhat defined path, so that i wun be lost again...dun even wan that feeling now...had experienced it several times and know how much it hurts... its worse than any physical pain, because when it hurts, u carn control ur tears and u only end up hating yourself even more.

trg = tired but feel gd

2005-11-30T23:25:00.000+08:00

today was juz another day... but trg was really tiring... ran 6 rounds, then after tt jiao lian train me for rather long, like ask me do all the diff actions...erm but its good, as in can really train ma...then after tt lian4 more, like muz do the action for 100 times or 50 times like tt...sorta like target like tt ba...then learn new ting oso...gong3...haha..nt bad...today's trg was ok, benefitted...then pt everyone like say v xiong1...will ah? paiseh lor... =.= but then can fit ma... no sacrifices no gains...hehs...

after trg, ate! hungry ma...erm den suppose go sentosa wif chengrui and lan ne go sentosa go wad plan camp..den reach harbourfront liao, me n yj decide we v tired so nv go..haha..den nothing much after tt..went home lor..i tired, ate again den slept. den ate...haha growing fat tis way...after tt went yoga lor... juz finished looking at chem notes for abit...realised my brain is really really rusty..bleah...gotta start bucking up soon...will be real busy in a wk or so time liao...no time..wa why is hol passing so soon? bleah... tis is life lor.

TIRED

2005-11-29T18:33:00.000+08:00

mmm today was e sec day of the math camp..well tink mayb i v tired ba? well it is realy v tired..didn realy enjoy today's one...MOREOVER...sigh nvm..well today almost flared up several times, got qt impatient...sigh...like 3 volunteers 1 tchr bring them from the sch to east coast...its still a tough chore...well shan't elaborate or complain, blame it on my own impatience and low tolerance level...well gurl! u still haf loads to learn, dun u?

tmr's trg again...truely hope it would be better than last wk's...or i will cry man =(

math camp

2005-11-28T20:03:00.000+08:00

today was the katong sch maths camp! haha erm went there in e morn...den woah whole camp oni 5 students...suppose to haf mroe one, but all suddenly laz min haf emergency and all tt...mmm anw there were another 3 volunteers from scgs...so tt makes 4 voulunteers plus 1 tcher to 5 students...but it was tough enuff...haha coz they hafta be like 1-1 guide one...so yup...overall qt fun...the kids were of diff calibre ba..some brighter..bt nevertheless, realli gad to be v patient wif them...yup like my mum said can train my patience...

well, we played many games ba, mainly to teach them ordinal numbers (1st,2nd,3rd etc..), den teach them hw to spell from zero to twenty...through games like erm...car racing,hide n seek, dog n bone...lol.. tink i had fun bcoz of the children ba..thou some qt playful, but they are still ncie kids! (: yeah! tmr we gg to east coast for more of the maths camp..haha... hope my dear recover le,den he can go tmr! (:

slacky...

2005-11-27T10:56:00.000+08:00

feeling slacky...really feel my hols nv accomplish much.haha ytd slept real late, then tis morn deicded ot gif aerobics a miss, anw i dun really like it, haha dun like the instructor...oh well, ytd was a lazy day oso...stayed home read and den wanted go see my dear bt he's still sick lor...sigh, hope he's better today den can go see if he's better...so ytd like 4 plus went to meet LC! haha like so lng nv see them. and thanks for e present! randel too! haha...

yup den we ate and did some really crazy shopping! haha crazy bcoz we've nv bouught clothes like tis b4, like juz try and see ok, not bad can-buy den buy liao! wa! haha... it was so fun shopping with my LC! muacks! haha yup..bt when reach home realise i v fat so went jogging...haha..jogging at nite qt scary..bleah...bt its nice coz v cooling, den no one so no one to fight for oxygen wif u...haha tt was lame =.=

so nw gg slack away...finish up my dear's card...see if can visit him...den tonite is 602 gathering! yeah! haha hope it would be fun man! (:

i hate myself, dun i suck?

2005-11-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

sigh...nw really hen bu kai xin ba...juz came back from tt trg at temasek poly..then i sux big time today...as in really FREAKING SUCK! i suck la, wth wtf! urgh! i hate myself k! i train so much, spend so much time, den end up still like shit. am i really tt useless?! i tink i am! wad went wroong? i keep asking myself...maybe bcoz i nv focus? or mayb its juz bcoz i am dumb and useless?! i tink its both! thats y i am such a good for nothing...

i dunno wad i am gg to do nw, i really v luan4, vv luan4... hen xiang ku, bt nw at home parents in cannot cry...sigh... someone save me...

salute

2005-11-24T13:37:00.000+08:00

mMm...haha nw emotion rush again..but tis time its about smt i've nv blogged b4..haha...mmm well was looking thru frenster profiles...den suddenly saw sherry's...and den the gamma 12th HC and all...den as i looked at everyone of them..somehow i suddenly wanna salute to them...mmm dunno ba, take sherry for eg ba (hope she isn reading..if nt her head will oni get bigger...hehe) muz say she's a v loyal fren and those who will really take care of u and is the v true and sincere type ba...worked wif her b4, cheerleading and hse comm internship and all..she's nice, and does her best for hse comm, loves her fren,treasure her lao gong..thou she may nt be the really pro type in studies or cca, she'll gif her all for anything else but herself first... and guess its not only her...the many people i know, they put everything else and other people b4 themselves...and its really worth my respect... i wanna learn frm them (:

another day...haha

2005-11-23T22:20:00.000+08:00

mMm...tink today qt bzy lor...erm woke up feeling woke...coz laz nite rain ma...den went for trg..was late 5min so ran 5 rounds bt ran 6 lor..trg was v pathetic, like 7 ppl oni?! haha...so trg today was qt..quiet..until the laz part when lan-ne n nic started whacking each other wif balls....we suppose to be prqqactising our service la! lol..then today i learn new thing, practice my service oso...well qt happy i learning ba..haha..at least nt tt useless..eh then PT lor..today pt nothing much..coz oni 4 ppl do...sad huh?

eh after tt go lunch, ate my vege soup as sermin calls it..haha...eh den meet yj den we went hougang...den i went my nanny's place..play wif the baby girl again..she's juz so pretty and cute and her smile is so sweet la! mMm...den i went to the boy boy hse teach him again..till like 7 plus...den went for yoga...den nw typing tis lor...tmr i nothing to do again..sian...bt mayb i'll stay home n rest? already like successive dunno hw many days go out le...haha HAD FUN!

BUTBUTBUT....sad thing...my knee and ankle acting up again..then i tink the knee problem really in e genes one...sian leh! my grandma haf it, my mum,my aunt,my bro..now me...and i am the youngest to get it can?! SIAN! nw eating some medicine suppose to erm strengthen it or smt la...hope it recovers..and my ankle, hack it le..dun tink it will ever be fully ok...oh well..

yeah! bday!

2005-11-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

yeah! today celebrated my bday!!! yup its wif my dear and the tjtt peeps ( and lan ne's husband) ... (:

we went cine in the morn go watch harry potter! yep its great man! and nic was ogling at emma watson! haha! mMm...then after tt we went yoshi eat..bt i nt hungry so nv eat..den after tt, we discussed qt long, hesitated qt long...den finally went k box!!! haha...it was actually qt fun, listening to them singing and making fun..lol..nic was e most funny one..chengrui too..and my dear sing so pro la (: hehe... thou i nv sing, bt it really is a fun experience lor...

yup dne after tt went for dinner..haha tis time eat subway..more healthy...lol... i ate damm fast..hungry ma... =P den went take neos wif my dear! yeah! tink we rox... after tt nothin much ba...we juz walk arnd orchard...

mMm tis bday is rather diff from the past...past is all like go out wif family den be princess for a day..haha tis is more fun in a way, spend fun time wif fren and ur dear... qt nice ba e feeling... love my bday! BUT BUT BUT! nd to wait another 365 days b4 my nxt bday leh! hehe!

ohoh! and thanks peeps for all the bday wishes! the sms-es, the hand-shakes, the frenster testis, the conversations...haha thanks thanks love u guys!

happy burfdae to me!

2005-11-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

YEAH!!! a few more min and its my birthday! yeah yeah yeah! haha i am turning 15!!! but still nt 16, cannot watch nc-16...lol..nvm i am so excited about tmr! gg out wif tjtt ppl and of coz my dear! mmm... i've got loads of birthday wishes! haha tink by the time i finish listing it'll be nxt yr! haha so i'll juz haf afew!!! yeah yeah!

1. i wanna be happy and smile all day long!
2. i wanna be wif my dear forever
3. i dun wan any more quarrels wif my mum!
4. i wan all my friends to be happy!
5. i wan my family to be happy and healthy!
6. i wan my table tennis skills to imprve (last few trg sux)
7. i dun wanna get fat! i wan to slim down! i wan to lose weight!
8. i wan myself to be more patient and tolerant of others, and dun flare up so easily. i wan to control my temper!
9. i wan to grow taller!
10. I BETTER BE SATISFIED WITH WHAT I HAVE NOT YEAH?! haha...seriously, if nt the list will never end (:

quickie update...

2005-11-20T09:20:00.000+08:00

haha ok...i am no longer pissed from thur nite...by fri i was ok le..well, lets see wad happeneD on fri n sat...lol... mmm fri ah, woke up jogged...haha i did 4.8km bt i did it ultra ultra slow..sigh dun even noe if it is of any use at all de like tt...coz like run alone ma so v slow lor =.= hehe den i watched vcd till like evening...watched the full house, korean romance/comedy? haha...

den went TM walk walk awhile den went for trg at temasek poly lor... trg was ok, oni played 4 matches...wa e first tcher i played wif was like ruijie's father la! as in e looks and all! hmph! i damm bu shuang wif tt guy la! like he lost to me then he go tell ppl actually he can win me de, wdeva man! loser! bleah! haha den played wif a guy whose service if can o ver the net is damm gd de...lol...den actually lost him first 2 sets den catch up nxt 2 sets bt lost to him the laz set...haha..den nxt played wif another tcher...tis one damm funny...joanne was like saying tht was e tcher shirt tuck in till so tu3 den distract her...lol..tis tcher was nice so when he lose i win we shake hand...not like tt idoitic petty first tcher...dun even wan to shake hand wif me! hmph! well tis wk play against de definitely more challenging than laz wk de...so my face tis wk less smiles more blackies...hehe...den after trg we went the 201 there eat...i ate chee chiong fan..lol...den e gurls started gossiping.. =P

den was ytd...erm woke up, went hougang teach the boy, then went kovan dory's hse to do LA...den after tt meet my dear den we talked all the way from kovan to clark quay den till i reach bugis...lol damm funny...we discussing bout mon and tues ma.. eh den after tt i go bugis meet parents for dinner lor...wanted to buy my bag n shoes, bt didn managed to find nice ones..today go orchard n see lor...yup..bt ytd i bought a seashell necklace! (: nice!

nw is like erm 9.30am... gtg soon, gt aerobics at 10..den after tt will go orchard shop again! bday ma...presents!!! muacks!!!

the world has changed man

2005-11-17T23:23:00.000+08:00

sigh....seriously what has the world become of? as in, after several chats tonite, i found out....is money/personal gains all that matter to ppl nowadays? do ppl do things juz for themselves?

well..coz i've been asking around for volunteeers forthe katong special sch math camp from 28-30nov ma...then like need camp assiatants and photographers and so on...but its like damm hard to find ppl la..take the photog for eg ba...gt a fren, he's nice willng to help out for the first 2 days, den he third day nt free...den he said he'll ask arnd...but the thing became like most ppl nw are wad commercial photog n wun work for free...not even for charity...WA I HEAR TIS I DAMM ANGRY LA! wad charity? huh?! say untill ppl so nd your damm help like tt...ppl dun need those pity ok?! it is not a charity organisation, bloody hell, it is a sch! mind u! they are humans as well!

seriously la... its so sickening tt nw i dun even wanna ask ppl anymore...like WTH i begging ppl huh? sian la! if dun wan to help juz get lost ok?! if in ur damm bloody small world u oni haf eyes for urself then go ahead! alright?! nxt time these ppl if u ever in need, i see who'll be willing to help! HMPH!

this is bad man

2005-11-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

sigh...i hate the figure on both weighing machines...its telling me tt it carn hold me any longer and i nd to lose weight... sigh...and i hate ppl tryin to comfort me n say na its ok u look oki, y lose weight...sigh, its hard to understand unless u r me...serious... well i am gg to draw up a plan to lose weight...but serveral things goona interrupt...like my bday celebrations? ha..bt gg tell my dad bday dinner better be at some jap sashimi place...at least raw fish nt tt fat hor? =P

well..i guess wif my diet...like as usual, no fastfood...nt even my beloved milkshakes...erm no sweetened drinks of coz...erm i'll cut down on candies oso...eh no chocs oso...erm no biscuits too...but if like meals nothing to eat oso hafta stuff some down..healthy ones of coz...erm...oso like v long nv eat meat...erm haf been eating vege...vegetarian food oso...haha..ok if i left out anything someone tell me ok? ohoh! and carbohydrates! sigh tts e mian prob...but breakfast will haf bread de ma... sian...

ok, tts e diet part..nw the exercise part...let see wad i haf nw...erm table tennis trg mon wed fri, wif pt on mon and wed...erm then aerobics on sun, yoga on wed(its sppose to help u to slim down =.=) mmm den everyday norm is jog 2.4...so i tink nw i should increase the distance..budden another factor some in...the dammable knee of mine...nw like today run tt time will pain..sigh sigh tmr run den see hw...tried 4.8 ytd...shall try it tmr...pray knee no prob =.= den i'll add like sit-ups and pushups and all...free free den do hoola hoop..juz hope ti sone dun break...haha previous ones all break...bleah...

wel well...juz talked wif nic online...i say my oni factor to join cheerleading nxt yr is my weight...i'll make sure it go down man...hmph!

sian diao

2005-11-15T18:20:00.000+08:00

god...i am scared... now not because of thunderstorms,nor lightning nor thunder.... but my knee..sigh i dunno wads e problem wif it...but its hurting... i am scared as i was e other time when i injured my wrist and ankle...bcoz it would mean me unable to do things...like juz nw jogged tt time left knee abit pain pain while right ankle pain pain.... sian...

its a big SIGH... it was like first injuring both ankle and wrist during cheerleading and table tennis comp periods...those times sux, like realli hafta take care and all...now my knee...have seen my friends suffering from knee pains..and i dun wan it either! call me a coward...but i am feeling helpless nw... n my ankle still haven fully recover - haven tried jumping since napfa when i sprained it again... nw i haf phobia of jumping..bt i noe cannot scared...coz of cheerleading oso...

gosh...hope it'll go away soon...hope i am juz worrying too much...oh and forget to add, my mum and bro haf knee problems as well... =.=

...ytd n today...ha...

2005-11-15T14:32:00.000+08:00

shall blog bout ytd first...erm ytd had trg...went sch lor...den ah...sigh, dunno wad happen ytd, like cgtt pals said b4, skills like take leave like tt...wah ytd i train ah, nothing went right la! serious! sigh sigh...hope it'll be better tmr...if nt i can juz go bang my head against the wall la...well pt was rather...team-bonding...lol...na nt exactly, bt guess after pt my lega really ruan diao...guess tis the last part - the bing4 bu4 3 sets of 1 min, den the sprint 1 rnd arnd track...gave them 1min30 to complete, guys who carn reach it haf to jing dun 2 min while girls 1 min... well all guys manage to make it...i miss by several secs =.= haha bt nvm so did jing dun wif the girls...den after tt all of us like dead tired, so nv lian4 service...

then after tt nic zl lan ne n i were talking about emily rose...haha nic made it sound v nice...so i tempted to watch even more...eh den after tt had lunch wif yj n nic den went home... den evening went J8 watch emily rose (: erm... i tink i probably oni watch the nt disgusting/scary parts..haha coz everytime e sacry parts i'll b hiding...oh well..tts me...haha actually the exorcism of emily rose was ok oni...mayb bcoz i didn watch the "exciting" parts..bt it really was so-so oni...haha tink i sunday watch the oliver twist gt abit more meaning oso =.=

den i had starwberry milkshake n i tink i am damm fat now...better start shedding the fats...still wan to cheerlead de..sigh...haha...

today...woke up 9.30 le..de went to jog...tink its bcoz in my mind i was telling myself tt really fat den nd to lose weight so i actually jogged till my target...4.8k...den ike first time jog alone haf motivation to jog tt distance...so qt pleased...bt my hse the 2 weighing machines disagrees wif me...coz both still tink i am heavy and fat..oh well..i shall continue trying to lose the fats...i really need to man... i will perservere de...afterall... the oni goodness in me is probably tt determination to do wad i haf in mind... (:

sunday eh...

2005-11-13T22:29:00.000+08:00

today was an ok day...at least didn stay home at all...out whole day...morn went jogging, den had aerobics class..den lunch...den i went shopping at bugis...yes yes i noe its again..like afew days muz go there once... really v v sian...bt today is go wif parents n aunt n cousin? yep its more like a family thing...oh well...den go pei my cousin watch oliver twist...it was ok ba, half the time i was trying to analyse the movie like mr hassim does =.= haha yep i noe its v lame, bt coz the story moves v slowly oso ma...

dun forget our date ah... the exorcism of emily rose...haha didn get to watch it wif you ytd...really wan to watch it (: and i am really glad things are ok (: fine (: sweet (: just like before (:

cooking...cooking...

2005-11-10T18:58:00.000+08:00

today was qt tiring ba...ytd bout 5 plus slp...den woke up at 9 plus..ate breakfast n went back to slp..seriously can grow fat la, eat slp eat slp..well i woke up like 11 plus, den nothin to do ma, so i decided i shall cook dinner. yep, den so went white sands shop for ingredients... cooking erm fried bee hoon, sambal kangkong and curry chicken! wa bt really v tiring eh..like i came back from "shopping" was like 3pm. den started cutting/chopping...haha i cried again k! but bcoz of onions la... hehe...den chop till like 4..haha i noe i v slow..den start cooking..cooked the curry chicken first...budden found out the curry powder i buy nt v nice...den guess wad, i bought carnation milk...but i realised i dunno hw to open the can! ya la i noe i v stopid bt norm gt ppl help me do one ma...so oni used the remaining carnation milk in the fridge...and daisy milk...lol...not v nice leh the curry i taste..nvm la..mmm..den cooked the beehoon, tink tis one i more or less successful de..still edible..well the kangkong...haha it was too spicy...bleah..den by e time i finish cooking like 5.30 liao, den clean up the kitchen till 630...sian...cooking like really take alot of time hor? bt nvm la, tink i oso nothing much to do ba...

tots tots tots

2005-11-07T23:03:00.000+08:00

someone slap me

2005-11-07T19:48:00.000+08:00

aiyo i oso dun understand myself...like its e hols leh! y i like always so bu kai xin? hao tao yan myself eh! someone wanna slap me? i dun mind eh...mayb can wake me up? den i tink coz i haf too much time, so i end up tinking alot? den rubbish oso tink? shouldn tink one oso tink? sigh can someone make me wake up? i wan to feel myself again...i wanna tink right again... help me someone?

I HATE YOU!

2005-11-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

I really carn stand it anymore. I noe I shouldn be like tt….but…but I really carn stand my mum anymore…to some extent I hate her! YES I HATE HER! She is ruining my life, ruining me, ruining a life that she had in her womb for 34 weeks? Wads the problem wif her? Whole day gimme attitude and gimme the i-dun-trust-you-at-all face…wth…haven I earned ur trust? When have I ever let u down? In terms of discipline, in terms of results? When have a tcher called up or anyone told u they have a problem wif me? Never! Den y dun u trust me? Y do u doubt me? Y do u constantly question me? Do you have any idea how much I dread to see u now? How much I wished I didn haf to hear ur voice, live wif u? y do u haf to control my life? Y are u in my life? I dun see the point of u in my life?!

Look at wad u haf done to ur daughter – that’s if u still see me as one. U left her hating u! do u enjoy tis as well? Do u enjoy questioning me on every single shit I do? If so I am not surprised why I hate you! Get out of my world! You tink u are succeeding in controlling me? U are wrong u dumb stupid...!!! U never know who I hang out wif, u never know what I do. And of coz I enjoy every moment of the things I do and that u dunno wad are they! U tink ur daughter is so guai that she tells u her every movement? Get a life! Out of a 100 statements, oni 1 is true! Yes I’ve been lying! Lying lying lying! But why do I lie? Why do I keep u in the dark on so many matters? Bcoz u dunno wad I want! U dun understand me! U doubt me! U dun trust me! I muz say I really am angry and fuming now… do u haf any idea how much I wana leave tis hse nw? ok fine, I love my hse, I love my dad, I love my bro, I love my room, my bed everything in tis hse but you! U get the pt? get out of my life! NOW!

-diao-

2005-11-02T21:30:00.000+08:00

really..i dunno y i am so confused, and confused over exactly wad, i oso dunno...its THAT same feeling again... e feeling tt i aint doing the right thing? i've stopped n pondered many times, but i juz dunno if its e right way, e right direction. wad if it isnt? i dun wan my life to be a mistake...its scary... i aint gg to reveal more nw, bcoz it juz doesn sound gd...all i noe is tt i seem to b floating...

No $ = pissed

2005-10-30T23:17:00.000+08:00

in sooth i know not why i am so sad...well actually i know. firstly, my dad is giving no allowance for the whole hols...wth...tis sux...den my mum decided tt wadeva i buy/shop i should pay myself (well not as if i buy she pay like tt, my dad will be a better person to go to)...so freaking stupid can...?i am going broke soon la, tmr still nd to change my bat the sin..walau...i nd money...den now my hols use for giving free tution, preparing for orientation trg and stuff so no time work no income...i am so dead.... ahhh! i am feeling so damm pissed now. the feeling os no $$$

...iTs e h0Ls...

2005-10-29T21:57:00.000+08:00

well...wad can i say..i am failing terribly in l00king for a job..haha nd some xtra money man...its like nw i oni spend, no income..can die...but ar..i tink tink, mayb no time for me to work oso..coz haf trg, then OGL stuff, camps, chalets, den nw most prob giving e children at katong special sch free tution...well, if no time den nvm oso ba (: as long as i am using my time well n i m happy!

today was an ok day...well...morn woke up ate den went back to spl (seriously i tink i am becoming a pig) den woke up den go jog. den went to hougang there e cdac thingy wif my mum go like read stories to children...they are like so cute la!! all like 4-5 yrs old, den my grp of children v guai oso...so fun (: yup yup tink i haf a thing for young kids nw...tink they v cute n fun to play wif..tts y dun mind giving em tution n all..well budden ar, e tot of giving birth like 10-20 yrs down e road still scares me...-nd time to tink bout tis man-but well its still so far away..i haf better things to tink bout n do now..haha like tinking which jacket to buy tmr and where to go wif my dear tmr...

...hols are gg to be fun i hope...

...h0ls...

2005-10-26T20:39:00.000+08:00

ok..realised i haven been updating...haha so now nothing to do, so i'll update...

well..hols are coming...2 whole months wor...lets see wads on...haf table tennis trg for sure..aerobics and yoga classes..going to go jogging real often..trying to find some part time to do?...then going do loads of shopping...beaches...MY BDAY to l00k forward to!! yeah!! and of coz spending loads of time wif my dear, mtg up wif mil, pan my 2C family... cgtt chalet...go bac cedar for trg?...den i wan cheerleading practice soon!! i really miss it! haha...i am gg to make full use of tis 2 mths man...hope i dun waste it...ohohoh! i am gg cook too! i wanna cook for my dear too... den i wanna play wif candles...nice nice future (:

haha i tink i qt happy nw? so much to look forward to... nw chatting wif toki, den he say he gt no aim in life...den wad the feeling like dying...well...i guess some of my fren would haf known..i really comtemplated dying b4 e exams, when i was really stressed...its like i was like which way to die nicer, no nd disfigure...or no nd die la, was telling shan at tt time, juz nd to go hospital 1 mth den no nd take exams, budden if accident den injure my legs den cannot exercise v sad..so in e end, gave up e tot...haha nw quite glad i didn (: so toki ar, u muz find an aim, dun be sad, smile, cheer up ok?

...a MiXtuRe...

2005-10-17T17:31:00.000+08:00

yux...i carn smell u..haha yup blocked nose...flu...sigh...carn jog...sigh...mum!...sigh..haha...miss u...sigh...feeling a little envious...a little jealous...sigh...a little happy...a little sian...well i am juz a mixture of loads of taste and thoughts now...

so glad cleared things wif my dear on sat...which was e day we celebrated jan's bday...talked qt long, got many mosquito bites...haha..yup then celebrated jan's bday at nydc, she was so happy wif her mudpie!haha..keep saying "yeah" "yeah".. my lc so cute =)

well den it was ytd, sunday. did project frm morn to afternoon. den moi cooked pasta for jawi poon n dory! =) haha so pleased wif myself..yeah! me m gg to cook loads and loads in future! esp for my loved ones!

den it was today...went renci in the morn till noon like tt...well interacted with the elderly...den its like really tink dey v ke lian, den while i was pushing e wheelchair and later realising i do nt noe how to fold it...felt v guilty...sigh..coz like when my grandma arnd, nv really cared much n so nv really take care of her...know she desired ppl to pei her..bt juz nv had the time or heart to tok to her..sigh...really miss her now...bt i guess...i guess...e only thing i can say nw is, really, treasure the ppl arnd u, esp ur loved ones, for u nv noe when they'll leave u. the feeling hurts. and i guess no one wans to be.

hApPy HaPPy hapPY!

2005-10-12T15:52:00.000+08:00

yeah!!! i am so happy happy happy! relieved relieved relieved man! exams are over!haha..actually it was over ytd, budden went out play till so late so today den update blog lor...well, ytd was laz paper, HMT, it was ok i guess...lol..den it was e after exams! well SF6 peeps ytd abit bzy, grazz haf netball thing, mich haf dance, jawi nd to meet parents for lunch, shan project, so left me n dory lor. den mich,dory and i went parkway haf lunch. Went pasta mania, dey ate e buddy's meal while i ate e salad..now tink tink, tink e salad v ex leh..nvm, at least wun feel guilty eating.well after tt, dory n i went orchard shop first, mich went for dance.

we went heeren?haha yup..den ar cedar peeps ytd oso last paper, met loads of peeps..michelle la, angela, zozonana...yupyup, den dory managed to cinvince me nt to buy a pink handband, so i bought a orange-yellow one. but now i regret nt buying e pink one! coz i broke my pink one laz nite! =( haha...well soon after tt, e rest of SF6 except mich came lor..yup we shopped n had fun..haha but i tink everyone was tired, plus no stable octet structure so abit sian sian e feeling? haha nvm la. it was still fun.

it was bout 6 plus ba?den my atoms gotta leave le, so i waited for yj come lor. den we went watch corpse bride! i love e movie la! its really really nice! i feel its a diff. type of movie frm e rest, as in the plot is simple, but it juz is so funny and well, great! haha bt it was short..oh well, it alright. den after tt went hme, bout 11 plus le? tired, ate,ironed,sms-ed,slept (quick summary huh? =P)

den it was today...today was erm...qt sian, morn had some inspirational tok, of which after tt we checked our maths script. well i am qt satisfied :) tink my efforts paid off. afterall i spent the most time on tis sub ma..den after was break followed by our hiphop class..it was fun too! den it was cleaning of classroom..we were effiecient man! haha so proud of my class peeps, esp poon, he rocks man! yupyup, den grazz n i go jog, at like 2 in the afternoon? haha damm hot la! den after tt i had headache..till now...bleah..oh well, sian of typing, feeling tired..mayb gg slp? haha!

...cHaNges !N mY liFe...

2005-09-30T22:57:00.000+08:00

woah..like one month since i last updated? but really busy..now is take time off,slack abit so update abit lor...well recent weeks haf been busy studying..as in woah, i guess ive nv worked tis hard b4...as in seriously..guess i really wan those results...for various purposes i guess...as i juz look back on these 9 months..i realised many many things, including many changes happened this yr...like from change sch, to new environment, new friends, new tutors, new subjects, new coaches, new learning approaches, my new perspectives of life (studies didn realli matter till a month ago), love life, my thoughts, my thining process, sibling relationships etc etc etc.. really there juz seem so many changes and so many events that take place in this short 9 months of my short 14yrs10.5months life... haha and speaking of which, my bdae coming!! haha like soon...? *hint*hint* bt b4 tt will be another sweet 22nd first..well like i said b4, every 22nd is always nice, and my bdae even nicer (: ...bt provided in spore...urgh, mum always liek go hol on my bdae,..last time didn mind, bt nw prefer spend wif buds and all..oh well, we shall see...but i really l00k forward to it!!! hehe...but now i do look forward to the 11 oct - last paper! haha realli carn stand exams anymore...bleah...they take away my life man.. but oh well in e past wks, stressed n tired n worn out, i cried n frown n made alot of noise...budden juz like a wk ago? haha i made a resolution liao, wun so bu kai xin, thou living seems to be a torture now, me - magdelene koh will face up to these and survive man! my SF6 muz jiayou oso k! my dear too! everyone arnd me muz jia jia jia you and live live live!!! (:

...qUiCk SumMaRy...

2005-09-03T22:35:00.000+08:00

realise i like 1 wk nv update le? well, guess qt lot of thing happen tis wk..and i appear to haf lots time to update now (slacking!)..haha..well..lets start frm mon?

Mon - was norm ba, studied for physics test and almost blew my head off preparing for presentation for e nxt day...haha..

Tues - presenation was fine, test was even better..and after tt went to pei jawi for her 2.4km..u noe i really am proud of her. despite e pain and all, she did it! i lurve u jawi! nv disappoint me! (: hehe... well, den yj was nice enuff to pei his fren run 2.4 (in e end he end up running 11 rounds?) while wait for me.. haha den after tt, we realise wad we juz ran like warm up oni...so we went to run girl road run route...well came in by backgate, so tt was oni 2.8km..oh well..haha it was already qt late le...

Wed - well, had fototaking n e adventure tower thingy..well i guess i juz came to a conclusion, i juz carn handle stuff like climbing n hanging in e air on a dear log..lol..it juz seriously is nt my forte...

Thur - Went out wif my lvoely cgtt peeps!! yeah we went sentosa! haha den we stay in e water for so long..now all of us are burnt and suffering e after effects..haha but still suffer 2gether, so nt tt bad! haha bt ar carry bag oso vv pain la! haha den after tt went clarke quay wif yj..oh! b4 tt ar, i was taking nel to hougang ma..den i actually met dory on the train la! so coincidental! haha then pei her go library b4 mtg yj...

Fri - the last day b4 sch closes for 1 wk break.. well pe lesson totally sux, juz sat down n listened to pe tchers nag n nag..oh well it rained too, so didn haf to do much, gd thing coz my whole body so painful...haha den went late for lesson - Hassim gave a 500 word essay, so NICE right? haha..well i m proud to announce i finish le (: den suppose to go for leo talk de...bt ar in e morn, ms nooridn ask me afternoon go for some photo shoot for yrbk...oh well, we waited like so long for e photographer la...den i tink i lk terrrible ): haha... den i went home n realised i was really fat, den decided go jog..den when i went down n jogged for like half a round, it started raining...bt i told myself cannot give up (NOW i tink feel i damm stupid la) so i cont. jog in e rain..did sit ups in e rain..wallow... den came today...

Sat - Morn went LJ study liao..den study till like afternoon started to get dizzy, feeling hot n cold at e same time..muz b ytd e stupid jogging in e rain la! haiyo, really tink myself vv stupid la.. then ate panadol, cont. study..den after awhile really cannot tahan, hafta stop study..bleah..then come home, force some food down, go slp..den now much better le (: heng ar...haha luckily abit fit lor..so now ok...

Well..that was a really quick summary of 6 days worth man..haha...now i haf nothing to do again..coz no more studying man...tired...

...m0nThly bl00dY tHiNg...hAha...

2005-08-27T21:50:00.000+08:00

haiyo...guess wad...i finally understood y i so short-temper these few days..haha its e damm month thing AGAIN...damm its been damm frequent la... no wonder thur so pain cramp so much, for so long..haha i noe abit crude la huh..bt i guess most tt come my blog oso gurls? haha so nvm la hor? =P

well..today went to study...hai~ den get so frustrated again...and feel so stopid again when i look at those maths qn...hai maths juz nt my forte la...wad to do? bt i really get so fan la..luckily 21 tmr gg study wif dory..she maths n physics pro, haha can help me..thx dory! (:

oh and juz found out yr end prom is on 21 nov..which make 1 day b4 my bdae! haha... *hint*

...bleah...

2005-08-27T10:05:00.000+08:00

...i finally understood the consequences of one's words...
...dun let your thoughts run wild...
...think before you speak...
...control your thoughts...
...dun be silly anymore...
...lesson learnt...
...sorry...

...i am happy...as long as...

2005-08-26T20:07:00.000+08:00

...yeah! today was a fun fun day!! SF6 finally went out together! though it was e same old TM, but being wif u guys juz seem so diff! we did silly things today (: like dancing silly, and of coz trying tons of clothes!!! hehe... oh and i finally bought my long long skirt! haha n i am considering jeans too! (: tis morn was so screwed, went sch in fbt n halter wif jacket...den ppl say like so obscene..so cannot help it, keep pulling...haha den shan lend me her shirt (: thx shan! well... i oso dun care ba? ppl wanna say wad go say lor, e mouth is urs...haha...

well..tts e happy happy pary (: actually ytd nite was thinking whether wan to pon sch..lazy and really tired ma... den i rmbed tt michelle performing tmr..muz support my atom! haha.. n oh there's e gamma gathering thing...well lemme tell u, it sux big time, bcoz apprently e purpose of me gg the gathering wasn achieved...e rest ate the subway cookies n stuff, well naturally i nv touch..basically my motive for gg is to gif support..who noes...bloody hell, shouldn b so nice in future, hack care! hmph... u no care, i no care, so i go out and haf fun fun fun! wif my SF6 SF6 SF6..chemical bonding!... well girlfriends are e best (: u gurls rox! lets go try on more clothes again again again! oh and take those beautiful neoprints consisting of 6 chio bus! hehe...

...sOo bRAin dEAd...

2005-08-22T18:50:00.000+08:00

woah...realise i so long nv update le..haha..anw i am so brain dead now, juz finish 3hrs of LA...yux..then after doing halfway, i realised i was damm cold,hungry and tired, so juz anyhow finish it and allow my brain to rest...but seriously tink my brain cells dead le..yux wed still haf maths test..well nt gg study today le..am like sOo tired..haha...

anw today's date is nice..haha from now on, the 22nd of every month is gg to be so nice..hehe esp. 3mths frm now...my bdae leh.. yux i am so tired now i really tink of anything to write...afterall i wrote like how many sheets of paper juz now? i lost count..haha jk..but well, i'll haf a proper update soon..oh and last trg b4 exams is tis thur le..so sad can, i learning to gong qiu and all, la qiu and all..oh and my wrist sorta recover le..haha juz in time for tmr trg..wish me luck..no more injuries sia..its will kill my mentally if nt physically soon.. (:

...tHe fEaR 0f c0llApSing...

2005-08-12T21:20:00.000+08:00

sigh...tis is gg to be another not so happy entry...well not exactly unhappy la, juz stress? budden i guess all tis stress is i put on myself one..bcoz i juz wanna do well, in everything i do,as in really excel...hai~ and i seem to haf so many things ar hand but seemingly to still haf oni 24 hours...i already am cutting down on my sleep, drinking coffee to stay up late to finish my assignments and study for those bloody tests..damm it...my eye rings are like panda now..but i guess tts e price i haf to pay for wanting to succeed in everything...

earlier on, my family doc told my mum to remind myself cannot too stress, vv bad for health and so on.. and she said like life is not always smooth-sailing n u carn always expect the best in everything, so muz relax...but i guess to me, being successful not only concerns me now. FIrst of all, i am gg ot prove to my mum tt i can do all these: studies, cca, relationships. I haf to show her tt i am nt juz another example of one who fails to balance and end up collapsing...although she often says tt dun stress urself and juz do ur best, i noe in my heart tt one day when i fail to meet my/her expectations, she would be disappointed and look at me in another light..i dun wan tis to happen..so i muz try to maintain all i can...and its hard at times, really...bcoz i oni haf 24 hrs a day...even if i dun eat i dun slp, somehow there juz aint enuff time...

i want to excel in everything i do
But i need more than 24 hrs
Heaven help me
for i am lost

Broke, Break, Breaking,
Down, Down, Down.

...sCReWed...

2005-08-10T12:29:00.000+08:00

ok i realised i was abit inhumane saying all those things on my blog juz now..i needed to be more kind-hearted...haha..so now edit again..but my bottom line is still: save me from the next batch of tip!!!

urgh...now i lost my appetite le, no nd eat lunch..haha nvm diet lor...but seriously its disgusting man....aiya oni consolation is i am gg torture em..i swear i will man! urgh and damm it i sprained my ankle ytd again..and ytd was damm bad la, almost carn wwalk, den go out wif yj, poor him hafta accomodate my speed and hafta support me, n carry me up e flight of stairs..haha i'll learn b independent and get used to spains man (:

...m00d sWiNgs...

2005-08-08T10:39:00.000+08:00

mmm...my mood haf been swinging alot and alot lately...MS-ing lor...wad to do...haha but oso cannot blame tt la..but well, the main thing tt can affect my mood much now is probably those few things oni la..well u noe it too? alas...now i wonder if i regret nt gg to sch...now at hme qt sian..den if went to sch oni for 2 hrs...aiya now tink oso no pt..

seriously i wonder at times why am i thinking so much? i used to think alot and it definitely didn benefit me much...but mayb because i spent time thinkning about it then i gt things done quickly and making sure its the right thing i am doing... but the process of thinking is really tiring...tt sometimes i wonder whether its more worth it to not think n take a risk rather than thinking for so long n finally thought it thru..well i guess i am crapping again..but i really vv bored...homework and tests really sux...somehow i dun feel happy..but i dun haf any cause/right to feel sad either...tts wad e sickening month thingy is doing to me...haha controlling me. urgh...juz wan it to be over soon so i can be myself again (:

7 aug

2005-08-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

today went to change my fone and subscribe new line as well..haha so now haf 2 lines to use...song hor? but meaning my wallet burned la..cause the fone is pay myself..and my old line bill haf to pay myself too..aiya nvm la..saved money to buy smt i wan...resonable la hor? well qt like la but damm it, i nv check properly then the cover carn really stick well(mines the 7270 so haf cover..haha)..aiya dun care oso la...now i dun really bother..carn bother bout anything else..coz my heart and mind are already bothered...

seriously, bothered by wad i dunno..its juz smt vv vv heavy weighing upon it, and i haven found my cure for it too..i noe its arnd but if the cure doesn come soon, i dunno wad those irritating virus will do to me, eat at my heart? ha..den there wun b much of me left le...carn b bothered either..i juz feeling pissed now, at no one and nothing..i guess its PMS..haha or MS-ing...well, i noe i abit crude but juz saying the truth la..anw most tt come to my blog one oso gurls right? well..hehe..

i haf alot in my mind, on my heart now, that i really really wanna say out but couldn find one to say out to...my blog used to be my diary, one tt i can really write everything..but now it juz doesn seem safe..hai...i need to scream everything out..if nt i'll explode!!!

6 aug

2005-08-06T11:32:00.000+08:00

yeah! finally my blog is more or less done..haha realised i really vv long nv haf a proper update le...guessed i was bzy ba.. somehow tis wk seemed to crawl me by..perhaps bcoz i haf many worries on my mind ba? like on tues during napfa 5 items i twisted my ankle..hai i really was like devastated can? like coz it was only the second station (standing board jump) den sitll haf other stations...shuttle run! shit la! then it only got more painful as i proceed on...shuttle run was my last station..hai but i juz ren and went out wif e running lor..bcoz i dun wanna retake everything ma...wa sian...timing so slow can?like so much slower than last yr but still A lor..i'll achieve my timing next yr ba... yup then it wasn the pain that i was worried about, but the many things that would be affected. Eg, i sill haf 2.4km on friday la (which means ytd) den trainings/pt and stuff..and i ended up wlaking really slowly..but i shuld be grateful my SF6 is arnd to support me..thanks peeps..u guys really rock my world...

den tues went by wif trg wifout running, wed went by with many physics period, thursday went by wif long lessons which totally sucked my brain juices and trainings where i attempted to run, but failed to spirnt...and ytd was the 2.4km. Well, i guess i did what i could le ba, though still nt happy coz last round wanted to sprint but my ankle juz doesn allow me..well, took bout 11.40 ba? grazz took 1108?or was it 1106? well, she missed breaking the record of 11.00..jiayou grazz! nxt yr u can break de! (:

i suddenly haf alot of thoughts..alot alot alot, about many many things...but somehow i feel my blog aint tt safe to write everything le...mayb one day when i feel like it/or when i feel it doesn get intruded..then i'll write everything...btw, i chose this blogksin coz i tink qt nice..but minus the sad part k? i nt sad at all k...haha i am a happy gurl now ((:

3 aug

2005-08-03T19:27:00.000+08:00

well..juz change blogskin..budden its nt suppose to b a sad blogskin la..haha still intoxicated =P (michelle's words)...well, now dun really haf time to do up my blog...tagboard oso out of order...hehe will fix it soon..dun mind me..sorry..will update soon..!

21 july

2005-07-21T22:49:00.000+08:00

well..today i started my day...tot i'll feel sian again, plus sad..lessons frm morn to 430. den followed by trg fr 5 to 8...and today shuo hao dun see u le...well so i realy begin my day qt sadly la...sian la today broke down twice..k la impr ovement le..but i tink i wun do tt again le?

today somehow juz tu ran hen xiang hen xiang den juz cry lor, one during chem lesson,e other during break..well e toilet is becoming my fren sia...anw...chem was slack..so didn haf to use my tired mind...break was SO sian...chi was qt ok, slack too..then it was maths..i really tried to pay attention k, but sometimes mind will juz drift off to you...den it was LA...damm sian, ms ying go on and on and den i realise most of e time i dun even noe wad she is saying la...den it was lunch...well it wasn a lunch lor..had to rush off buy chinese herbs for lesson...wel then it was TCM after lunch...2 hours plus brewing some herbs...well i didn do anything at all..merely washed e stuff..haha..slacker...den well it was to trg le lor..

well, today pt made em run 2.4km..prepare for napfa lor...well it was qt ok la but i ran wif strained muscles which ache like hell from tues pe and trg...sian..so timing not vv satisfactory lor...lost nic by 5sec...haha...but it doesn really matter ba? yup trg was qt sian plus slack...then when trg end i look at my fone..haf 2 msg, one frm yj , one frm mum..mum ask if wanna pick me..den i called her, luckily she reached hme le..haha coz yj's sms was that he waiting at the gate...oh my man! imagine how surprised i was to see him k..and of coz elated and happy like crazy...i smiled my first genuine smile in bout 2 days? haha yep...then though nv really spend much time 2gether...but see him i really vv vv happy le =) miss you so much la..like so long nv see u...thx for waiting again..

2005-07-20T20:22:00.000+08:00

Wa, today is probably the saddest day of my life in a long long while..today whole day nv smile or laugh at all, even if i did, it was forced to tell e ppl arnd me tt i am ok..but seriously i dun tink i am, after wad happen ytd..i shant say much about it bcoz dun wan e whole world to noe..but e pt is my mum sux, geddit? she is totally unreasonable plus so NOT understanding..wonder y at times i am stuck wif a mum like tt..."screw her la" as shan says...she really is putting stress on me, bcoz if i dun do well in studies, god noes wad she will thinks..and imagine threatening her daughter? wth...wad kind of freak i haf for a mum?

Ytd cried big time, cried to slp, tissues all under pillow..yucks i noe..but i can only cry in my slp, and tis morn had to cover eyes quickly go "recover"...hai budden on the bus, thought of u den i break down again..den go to sch, found jawi and realised i needed to cry on a shoulder..so cried on her shoulder..thanks jawi..ur shoulder was in time...then dunno la, today juz cried many times, such that i lost count and my eyes sting now,hot and tired...headache, heartache...

but anw, all that has been said has been said, i carn do much bout it oso...now e only thing is you..i am vv sorry that this somehow has affected us...but seriously, lets try to gt out of the sad state, as in lets nt b depressed and worry over wad may happen in the future..mayb things aren tt bad as we think? lets b positive ba, look at things positively, juz take it as a challenge for us and then we go overcome it together, wif our combined faith and absolute trust? i am sure we can do it de...besides, i dun ever wanna lose you..you juz are too impt. to me...

18 june

2005-07-18T19:42:00.000+08:00

today probably one of my not so happy days? i wonder y oso...juz started crying and scolding myself at the same time, reprimanding myself for crying, as in wad's there to cry? - one part of my mind tells me that, but my heart juz wanna cry, so i listened to my heart and i cried as i gt off the bus till i reached hme and as i cleaned my contacts...cried from living room to toilet and lastly my bedroom...seriously, i dunno y i crying...its like last time(like months ago) i cry its bcoz i tot my love would nv b returned...but now though i am loved and i love...i still cry..why ar? i oso dunno..feelings mixed...perhaps like i said, its like thinking and missing someone for vv long, den u finally get to see tt someone for awhile (minutes?) den u hafta part again as hours separate the 2 souls...the 2 hearts...

i noe its silly of me for its like erm, ni zia wo xin li can le...yup of coz i noe as long as both bear an equal yoke of love (gt tis from my MOV...lol...), its all ok..and i do haf faith in myself, in you and in our relationship..sure we can last one...but well juz now juz couldn ren3 all tt i haf been gg thru, such tt carn even sleep well...ytd woke up twice thinking of you...den hard to get back to slp for reality tells me tt all i can do at tt pt of time is still think of you...anw..i ended up wif panda eyes lor...wad to do? hai~ and as i was crying, i had a vv silly thought: i used to cry bcoz we weren together, but now i cry bcoz we are together...wads e diff? then i finally understood... i use to cry bcoz i love you but u probably dun..now i cry its bcoz i love you too much, so much tt i carn even bear the thought of parting from u for a single sec...the thought of living without you is truely hell...i seriously think its not even life...and as i said b4 too..now i survive e lessons and lectures, tests and reports, stress and all juz for that moment to be able to see you, to tell you how vv dearly i hold you...and like u said b4, my heart beats only when i am with you...so try to imagine a day without you = a day without a beating heart

16 june

2005-07-16T20:20:00.000+08:00

i am bored now...nothing to do...juz tired..tired frm the teaching cheerlead today...tired from the insufficient slp...tired from the week's hectic...and of coz tired from thinking of you...dozed off juz now on mum's bed...it doesn really feel good...woke up several times within the 1 hr i slept..coz think i think too much...so subconsciously awake lor...had been like these for several times in the past week..maybe tts y so tired lor...

sch in tis wk was ok...lessons sux as usual..and like i said b4, been tryin to pay attention...didn managed to do tt during history..too tired..the lesson is on a friday la...b0ring...anw...tis wk seemed to be luan4 to me, somehow like haf alot of things happen..den somehow now feeling so sluggish and tired i dun wanna describe anymore...juz wanna do things i wanna do...and wad i wouldn describe either...lol..pardon me...

11 july II

2005-07-11T21:48:00.000+08:00

well...juz wanna add on...juz spoke to nicholas..then i learnt smt...i gg set another resolution, make it my promise to everyone and myself...i'll try my vv best to change...as in table tennis trg tt time dun black face comp tt time oso dun black face..yup den i wun show my temper...as in even if mood no gd i oso wun show it le...anw ppl dun deserve to be at e receving end of my bad day right? yup...i'll try k, i'll try my vv best...but pls ppl, if i ever blow up at u guys, pls do duo duo bao rong me...i sitll in e process of changing...

11 JULY

2005-07-11T20:35:00.000+08:00

well..its been qt awhile since i cry(bout 10days?)...or rather am crying...i dunno wad came over me, perhaps juz several things coming at me at the same time...first of all is definitely the si nian and missing that is making me go crazy...my heart seriously rule over my mind this time, carn seem to do anything else beside thinking bout you...tearing over missing you...i do feel silly at times, for tis oni missing..

i seldom cry over missing some1...normally its really people whom i lurve deeply and hold so dearly...e last i did was my mildred darling,when i tot of the times we spent together, the times she haf to tolerate my bad temper, my blowing up at her, and she nv seem to take it to heart, still lurve me as a fren so deeply...she nv gave up on me either...i appreciate it mildred...

now i cry over missing you, and over my insensitive mum...carn she see i am in a damm bad mood...and though my resutls are reasonably well...she nt oni nv comment on it,s till can find areas to complain...2 "A"s and 1 "B" so far...wad else u wan man? u r my mum for heaven's sake, carn u see your daugther in in agony? though u nv nd to noe wad she is miserable about...at least spare her a thought..stop taking out ur bad day at work on her..she is a human being as well...I haf emotions as well..Nvm if my mum dun love me, dun care bout me, juz dun add salt to my wound can? i'll really appreciate it MUM.

9 july

2005-07-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

wa almost one week nv blog le..abit bzy...and tiring, esp physically...anw tt trg started le...den me hands now rot le...lol, coz hold e bat for too long i in the same position tt my skin harden..anw all doesn really matter...

well, i muz say i paid attention during classes le.even listened during history class? i nv did man...haha tts my resolution ma...but everyday i would look forwad to end of lessons... =) den can see you ma...yup and seriously thursdays sucks big time...lessons end at 4.30 while trg starts at 5 and ends at 8..which means i dun get to see u? and leave my heart aching for another day...?mm....learn one lesson: seriously carn live without you for more than a day..i wouldn survive...would miss u too much and end up dying frm xiang si bing...

anw, fri lesson end den i too revenge le...lol..yup finally get to see u and slowly get my illness cured..but like u said, its already a terminal disease...=D...so really muz kan ni kan gou ben...yup den its till today..

morn woke up at 7..auto de...lol...den after tt meet yj den go meet mildred and e res of e guides...gonna teach them cheerleading..woah den yj and i first time pair do stunts..ok la nt say vv nice but at least still succeed for the first time...lol...well anw didn really teach them much..sorry hor, vv hard to teach wif no demo, n i guess not enuff "resources"...in e end oni learn shoulder sit..but will teach u guys more one...u guys muz prac more and jiayou okies?

anw after trg ends at bout 12 plus, yj and i went pasir ris park again...lol...but well its qt a nice place ba...

well after these few weeks being together...though its oni a short time,i muz say it does seem for vv long le...and i do appreciate all the times u had to wait for my lessons to end..which is rather late..and the times when u make me smile and pull me out from those stress and depression...my troubles become bubbles upon seeing u =P ..sounds familiar? if anyone should ever ask me, i would say i nv regret this decision and i nv will..and even if i haf to choose again, it would be you and you always...settled on u le..and as i say, you da si wo, wo ye bu yao zhou... *ilu

3 july

2005-07-03T23:16:00.000+08:00

urgh...today i finally understood the meaning of absence makes e heart grow fonder man...serious, one day oni eh! but my heart really aching le...lol...xiang si bing can?! hai~ whole day do whatever things oso thnking and thinking...cannot help it de...

anw..today qt sian..didn do much..did some maths...haha and realise i aint tt dumb afterall..yeah!!! so happy..ye but tt was some and tt was all did...bleah..but nvm la..lol...no w juz carn wait for tmr...nt e morn project part la duh...hohoho..duke sia...but anw after tt meeting my darling mildred at heartland for awhile..juz wanna see her..hug her too...seriuosly miss her alot alot alot...my bestest fren ever eh...how can dun lurve her? =) yup den after tt will meet yj and janice lor...tink it'll b fun..and i wonder wad janice's reaction would be...=P...lol...

2 july II

2005-07-03T00:01:00.000+08:00

ok though tis is like within a hour of my last entry...juz gonna blog wad i am feeling for this particular minutes...dunno y, but i suddenly am weary and tired...perhaps nt enuff slp...but there juz seem to be smt screaming in my head, gnawing at my heart...but i juz carn seem to hear it, juz carn seem to feel it...meaning: i dun even noe wad i am feeling now la...confused...mayb i m tired...tts all..ignore tis, its all probably crap...for tis min...pardon me...

2 july

2005-07-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

mmm...i m dead tired man, esp physically...mentally oso ba...tis wk juz went pass...first week of term 3...oso wondered how i survived the lessons...but i made a resolution lor..tis term muz start paying attention in classes le..and i guess i am improving ba..now even listen during SS lessons can? lol..never did for the past half yr...seriously now as i reflect back, seriously feel guilty and all la...afterall, i am a student wad...and i shall manage my studies better...seriously neglected it during the whole of term 2, with all the competitions, trainings and all...though now haven get back term 2 results, but i sort of noe is all either fail or juz pass type...carn realli blame anyone la..its i nv work hard...i will change man...i promise...

and i said i tired...mayb oso bcoz i everynight juz carn get to slp ba? can lie on bed at 10 plus, but oni 12 plus den slp..den 6 oclock wake up again..seriously is tired la...afterall i tis pig require damm lot of slp and rest de...lol..and tis wk i nv realli trg much leh...jogging oso like nt much...hai speaking of tt i am damm sian can...me timing sux la..me and grace we run,even during pe take timing and all tt...me realli is slow by alot...worried man...muz b slack too much...hai another sian-ed pt...fitness level dropping like nobody's buisness man..but at least table tennis trg .starting nxt wk ba...though cannot help much physically =P...(pt slack ma).. but i guess i juz miss trainings la..miss holding my dear bat and hitting those irritating orange balls..lol..

but all's not tt bad la...at least my dream, my fairytale came true..and i really am happy ba...shan't elaborate on my happiness man..lol..

27 june

2005-06-27T21:08:00.000+08:00

yo...after 4 wks of rest..(ok nt exactly rest, last wk been gg bac sch oso), today step into sch feeling happy? haha i was feeling all high and happy in the morning eh..oso dunno y...haha mayb looking forward to seeing you...my friends too... but definitely not e lessons? ok anw...first period was bio...well it was ok la...hafta take notes and so on but it was ok, still qt slack la...then it was break... went canteen wif grace n jawi...lol then grace keep telling the stall uncle that her dad noes him? oso dunno la..blur too but qt farnie...den saw yj n nic in e canteen..they studying...mmm jiayou hor... =)

then it was chi...qt ok lor, lin lao shi was like telling us about our test on wed and all...aiya wadeva la i oso dun wanna study le...sick of it man...but lin lao shi is a nice guy and i shall respect him man =D yep...den did a compo and it was break again...damm slack la...

oh well, then act. whole morn i was vv high and happy de right? but during e secbreak/lunchbreak...i started to gt depressed...coz it would be 2 periods of maths after tt...i seriously dread maths lesson la...call me dumb, call me slow, but i juz dun get maths can?! and today start new topic and god noes wad mr ho is teaching...nt his fault, i juz am stopid la...then all thru 1.5 hours...me feeling so stressed over maths can...almost break down in class,but quickly wiped away that one or two tear so no one would notice...ppl would probably tink i m crazy...crying over maths...but i guess tis is juz one of e worse things that happen to me - maths...no other thing can get to me tt badly lor.. haiya...

well tt was end of my lessons...slack right? my monday lessons like tt one la...den decide go study...e rest all wanna go hme study but i dun wan, so study alone lor...went lib..then study study study,yawn,yawn,yawn...sian...then msg yj see if he still in sch...den well he was and nic left le, so join him to study...but glad i did, coz well once i did my depression over maths was gone within a second? dunno eh...call me silly again, but juz seeing him makes me vv happy and forget all those irritating problems(maths).. then study for erm like 1hr,1hr plus? den we pack up go hme le lor...den we were waiting for 12...haha which took a really long time...but well we chatted and talked..and yep like we said, even though at times we are not saying anyting, but we will noe wads gg on, and hafing each other beside is more than enuff...enuff to make me smile like a silly idoit...lol..

...If there's one love, one joy, from which i never want to part, its you, my very special love, my world, my life, my heart...

25 june II

2005-06-26T00:47:00.000+08:00

wa...carn help blogging twice in a day...but i really am happy and smiling till i tink my jaws are tired...but is till carn stop myself from smiling!! It juz comes from the heart can!!! haha yep and perhaps i should change my blog skin eh...withoutyouinmylife...na it doesn fits now...does it?...for now and for always, its bcoz of you in my life tt i m smiling so much...thanks alot... =)

...ni zai wo xin li...
...1314...

25 june

2005-06-25T18:35:00.000+08:00

yo...dunno why but i am tired,physically la...haha but for now, i am not tired of anything in my life...i just want it to stay this way, sweet and wondeful enuff for me =)

but anw...tis morn wake up so early...i had a dream? sweet one i think...den wake up cannot get back to slp le...anw today muz do cip...so went bugis later, met all the leo peeps, collected my share of leaflets and brochures and off yj,shuli and me to Tampinese... haha...yep we chose to go there to give lor...mmm think e 3 of us (later kenneth came...so 4 lor!) vv pro..haha vv fast then we finish giving all our 3 persons' share of leaflets...well this experience qt nice, but mouth and jaws abit tired...haha cause when giving out must keep smiling and "thank you"..but i guess smiling aint a problem for me la..cause have been doing that all morning too...but hehe oso will get tired de...so like after almost an hour ba, we are done...so go TM...

TM...den we walk awhile, look for kenneth's pencil case...then went to delifrance to sit...while waiting for chunkiat...yep den after awhile Shuli left le...went to meet her fren at PP...mmm anw i learn something today...hehe didn noe guys can talk so much de, they can talk about almost everything one lor...so kenneth yj and chunkiat chatted while i listened...haha afterall qt hard for a gurl to tok erm...their funny topics? haha but its ok i guess...me just listened and marvel at the topics they can tok about...woah man...

then after chatting for eh 2 hours or so?nt vv sure of the time...but anw, chunkiat went hme, yj and kenneth went to meet weikai play lan while i went home...bleah then when i reach hme, didn noe i was so sleep-deprived man...fell on e bed and fell asleep le...lol...but now still feel tired...guess its because previous days are didn get enuff slp...xiao zhu me need alot of slp de wor...haha...

oh btw, dun drink so much coffee hor...the caffine not vv good for health...muz take care... =D

~^ilikepureandnaturalandsaturatedhoney^~
~^realityisbetterthandreams^~

24 june

2005-06-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

yo...today i still smiling...haha lame i noe...but sometimes its juz like that de, carn help smiling and be happy =) ...okies enuff of tt crap...well today ar..woke up in e morn go sch at 8.30...haha our grp suppose to meet at 8.30...or at most 9? den dory reached at 8.20, michelle at 8.40...jawi woke up late and arrived at 9.03? grazz miss e bus and got there at erm 9.10-15? yup..lynette most pro de...about 9.35-945 like tt...wa see how nice right...waste time oni...but i brought my work to do so it was ok ba... did chinese...haf chinese test ma...den i guess all my sch wk was half-done and did in such a sloppy way i feel so ashame of myself...urgh..carn help feeling tt my tis june hols really too slack le, keep gg out and nv study when i suppose to...my heart juz not into studying eh...sian...

and as usual i went out...AGAIN...haha to bugis...AGAIN...wa i can juz go bang my head against e way man...last wk went like thrice, tis wk mon went le, today go, tmr gg again to do cip!!! haha... i seriously sick of bugis le...but i tink cip tmr willl be nice =) coz some cc peeps there oso...miss em..ALOT..

okies but i guess i still lurve tis june hols...haha at least my dream came true during this june hols?haha...lame... anw, peeps out there, i haf an advice for you... if u haf a dream, nv give it up...if u realli love smt or someone dearly...do hold on to it and dun give up... one day it would come true...really... =)

...pure 'n' natural honey...
...saturated as well...
...not so easy to dilute...
...sweet...

23 june

2005-06-23T17:17:00.000+08:00

...well...how to say...i today vv happy? haha vv high oso...whole day keep smiling...e moment i wake up tis morn...e first thing i did was i smiled... =) ...i guess cause i am feeling vv sweet inside me ba...i thank you for making my life sweet, for making me smile, for making me feel life was worthwhile and everything i did, including those hard-core-mugging-to-divert-my-attention was worthwhile...

i guess, when i told you, my hopes weren that high, was afraid... but i guessed i have to say it sometime someday, or i'll sure to regret one day...and i guess i am happy i didn keep quiet afterall...To me, it probably is a dream come true...a fairytale that happened to me...at least all wasn nothing afterall all...i held on for i couldn put down...and now i will still continue holding on...trust me...

...you were my only one...
...you are my only one...
...you will still be my only one...

19 june

2005-06-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

..its 3 months liao..3 months eh, not vv long, bt oso nt vv short..n for me to like someone for 3 months is already a big thing..somehow I wonder y u nv noe I like u, (u can even think you are not my type!) I perhaps try not to show it at all..but notice during several occasions where I would be there..its not a coincidence..I m there bcoz of u..n wonder y I always seem to msg u to cheer up or encourage u, y I would always be explaining stuff to u?...bcoz I dun wanna see u sad..i wan u to be happy..but I drop my msg occasionally, like they were juz normal or general sms-es..so u wouldn notice..and now as I am writing, I guess, u would nv noe either..

U probably think I am 15, a little young and perhaps immature enuff to handle relationships..perhaps I m, but I do noe wad I wan now..and how I’ve been feeling for 3 months..I haf contemplated telling u bout how I feel, but I wouldn wan us to be awkward in future situations..but as I am writing today, u can say tt I m finally letting part of my feelings flow..I wanna do smt else besides juz waiting..so I m doing this silly stuff over here? I guess I m dumb..but I couldn seem to do anything else..

And ever since liking u, somehow I haf changed a little..I used to shriek over shuai4 guys or good-looking eye-candies..but now I dun, any other guy whom I come across are juz nothing to me..I dun get excited over em anymore..because my heart is already reserved for you.. someone told me to try accepting another relationship, and perhaps during tt relationship I can try to forget you..or treat it as a way to see if I really do like you..but I guess it wouldn be fair to tt guy.. u probably will stay in my heart for awhile..how long I do not noe, for I did try desperately before to forget you..but I failed..

Very often, I feel u may see urself as unattractive to girls..(to me!)...for u would think u aren shuai4 enuff..or not e boyfriend material..but seriously dun u ever realise tt u haf a very good heart, personality and is definitely boyfriend, even family-man material..u are special and unique.. u are different from other guys..tts how u capture my heart..

I do know that writing all these am juz saying how I feel..words that haven been hidden in my heart..words that can make me lose my appetite thinking over..bcoz I tink of u almost every moment I breathe..but seriously, I guess its hard to enter ur life.. so all I can say for now is, I wun gif u up..

*sorry peeps who are reading this, u guys may think I m gg crazy or blogging some stopid stuff..but its ok, I guess as I’ve said, my blog is really for me to say how I feel..and all these is how I am feeling all these while..

18 june

2005-06-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

woohoo..legs are tired man..ytd walked and walked so much..today i wasn spared either...but i guess if all e walking are worth it ba...start wif ytd k?

ytd met mil,kl and angela at ps? yup then we erm went for lunch first coz all of were starving..yep then we go take neos!!haha so nice k! yep then we went to walk walk walk..then later went city hall and walk walk somemore..tired man..but its ok...=D ..yup then they nd to leave le..so left me..so i cont. walking...haha tis time at raffles city...yup till toki came! haha he's vv nice to chat wif and help me spend my time till parents came? yup then met parents went for dinner where i couldn stuff anything down my throat..somehow juz were full...laughed and smiled too much? mayb ba..anyway i am happy =)... well tis is a vv vv short summary of ytd..lazy type so much..hehe...

anw today is another long day...tis morn met my lc at bugis...wif books in my bag! so heavy! haha and i realise i rushed out of hse tt i wore e wrong footwear! fashion mismatched!! (moreover ytd kanna suan by bro until so bad..hmph, say i from head to toe oso mismatched plus ugly) ok wadeva about that..then so wad la..haha immediately got flustered and started wondering and praying for nice pumps..haha anw i was lucky to haf em..thanks!

then after walking at bugis (again!)...we went orchard meet e cc guys yj, nic and randel, and zhaoxiu later came as well..yup we walked to cine, then couldn decide on k box or movie..den juz ben ben stand btwn tis 2 for a long time (tiring!..haha)..and finally they decided nd to shop for phrabhu's bdae pressie..so we go lor..so walk cine le den walk heeren den walk to paragon? (oh we walked taka in e beginning le..e LC)...haha den walk somehow, keep walking same place? i dunno eh...blur blur le...yup...then erm, zhaoxiu,joanne n janice haf to leave le...den i might as well meet toki who is in town oso..haha yep we had fun ba..took neos and chatted, i rested my poor legs too! haha...

oh ya...anw cc outing today e atmosphere abit not right.. i tink every1 stressed over jct? then janice n joanne leave to go hme..then since dey leave, i might as well oso...but its still bad pang-sehing e guys..promise it wun happen again? but pls dun be sad over today's outing k? we will haf a better one... after jct?though we may disagree at time...we are still forever the one and only CC!!! smile okies??!!!

16 june

2005-06-16T10:31:00.000+08:00

yoyo...i am rotting at hme wif another fat attack! haha..so sian leh, but tis ok, gg out and all, which means playing more and neglecting my studies...urgh..wanna be concern and more conscientious..but its hard..i'll try..i promise..

anyway, gt to noe toki ytd! he's one nice fren to chat wif and all..nice knowing you ((:

oh well, i still haven gotten over thinking about you..its been long..real long..its been a long wait..long wait..and i wonder how long more this wait will last...but for now, i m sure wad i wan, and i will perservere to e vv end..i mean it and i will do it..which exactly ain't much to do..juz nd to keep on waiting...

...0n3 dAy mY fA!rytAl3 w!lL c0m3 true...
...0n3 day...
...w!tH y0u...

15 june

2005-06-15T14:27:00.000+08:00

my studying week sux big time..didn really study much..so-so la, finished some hmwk only...den tis wkend gg out again..urgh..so studying gone! but its ok...i guess...afterall..dun stress myself out? haha i am suppose to be happy ya noe...smile and laugh and all that..and i think i can ba..so far, except mayb when it comes to some stuff, which i shan't mention..although its all in my previous posts...

oh ya and i realise smt..i grew! nt as in height oni la..partly oso..as in my body as a whole expand? haha as in for eg. shoulders became broader and all tt...abit scary leh..then my weight increase like hell..aiya so heavy how to cheerlead...urgh...sian..and i do miss cheerleading! and of coz cc peeps..haha..oh ya mtg my lovely cedar family tis fri! hehe so long nv see em le..wonder how dey doing..great i hope so..afterall i lurve em loads and dozens!!!

...n0tH!ng mUCh t0 bLog...
...i w0nd3r iF iTs w0RtH wA!tinG...
...i h0p3 it iS...
...f0R i'lL k3ep 0n WaiT!nG...
...lAMe i n03...
...bUt cARn h3lP iT...
...wA!t3D f0R t00 LoNg...

13 june

2005-06-13T16:28:00.000+08:00

today is such a sian day..i realised for e whole of hols i didn study or do any work (except tt pathetic ONE maths ex!) yup... so today woke up at 7.45? then went white sands mac to study... so tired la, was yawning all e way, teared so much from yawning..haha...anw..conclusion: white sands mac is qt nice to study in the morn but definitely nt when its lunch time! omg, it was so noisy la, wif bunches of inconsiderate stinky ppl..frm wad idoitic sch i shall nt mention..hmph..anw shan elaborate..haha...

oh ya den damm white sands library cannot go in study de? siao la..but oso dun care...anw...now came hme le..realli sick of studying can? but i decided this wk be my studying week? afterall i haf slacked so much..played and ate so much..its time to get down to serious buisness? haha and nxt wk is make-up lessons plus projectS wk ma..so realli no time study...bleah..

i shall be hardworking? na...tts hard.. see "hardworking" breaks up to become ...working is nv easy..haha..lame i noe..wasting my time and everyone reading too =P but hu cares... i still haf time for more dreaming, dun i? but of u of coz =)

12 june

2005-06-12T13:20:00.000+08:00

yo..juz came back from cruise...
...deprived of sleep...
...played too much...
...ate too much...
...grow fat...
...going get ugly sleep now...
...will update soon...
...tace care peeps...

8 june

2005-06-08T20:35:00.000+08:00

its already e sec wk of hols an di haven done anything quality yet..as in my hmwk are like shit..oni did 1 pathetic rev. ex? and haven started on my chi exam oso! moreover damm broke now, last wk haf been like gg out almost everyday, shop, eat, play...wa grow damm fat and damm broke..but hai i guess its ok to be happy and fat once in a while? i'll work on those right away..haha... anw i still feeling abit sour sour inside me leh...

.:m!sSiNg y0u:.

7 june II

2005-06-07T19:13:00.000+08:00

hai~ carn help blogging twice in a day..though ytd outing was damm fun, and i was still smiling and hafing muscle aches till juz awhile ago...i suddenly haf this sudden surge of emotions and feel that i muz blog again...haha for now, the muscle aches still remain la, oso beaming frm e outing...but haf tis suddenly thing gg on within me...

i dunno eh..this morning when i woke up, e first thing i thought was..all i want is you...no more eye-candies i shall haf, no more dumb crushes i shall haf, and no more fantasy without you i shall haf...but i do noe tt i am still vv far away from you, nt physically la duh...i found you but ur heart isn't mine yet? but its ok, i will wait..no matter how long the wait is, no matter how lonely the wait can be...i will juz wait..bcoz i am sure i can nv find someone like u again, someone that i hold so dearly...

i dun haf the courage to confess, so tis is all i can do...blogging stupidly, nt tt u will ever read...but its ok, i juz nd to get some of these words outta my heart..b4 i burst..haha yep seriously i haf nv been attracted to a guy that strongly b4...and waited for so long!!! haha..i guess its bcoz u really are special to me..you are my world and although i may not be in your world yet..i'll just keep on waiting,..but its ok...besides, i only haf u in my heart now...

...wAiTed s0 lOnG...
...w!lL k3eP oN wA!tInG...
...0N3 'n' 0nLy yOu...

7 june

2005-06-07T14:58:00.000+08:00

hello!!! haha..ytd was so much fun..as much as i complained and sighed on sunday nite while making the arrnagements, things turned out QT ok ytd..haha yep gg share...

oh well, i arranged the cc outing to sentosa, meet at 1.30 at harbourfront ma...then me, nic and randel went together after our trg and randel's cleaning stuff..haha..due to our trg ending late, so we reached harbourfront at 2? and guess wad? besides adrain who reached at 1.15 (he took a taxi!), we were e earliest le la! woohoo, all of us were so time-conscious hor?! haha..anw, then janice reached before youjun and kenneth arriving lastly..it was 2.30 le la! haha and whist me, nic and randel were waiting, we were to grab subway, hungry sia! haha..i ate the tuna honey oat..and adrain was there saying i ATE tuna??haha...cannot meh, healthy ma..bleah...

aiya...budden qt few ppl oni ma, joanne haf tkd camp, shuli sick (take care ok!!!), shujing dance, wenshan and christal in uk..anw, we headed to sentosa all the same! yep yep, then we decided on siloso beach? oh ya oh ya! and all e time, we were complaining how smelly randel is!!! although i stink too, but its not as bad...and i really mean it! haha..on e bus to e beach, we were like siam-ing randel? haha coz he realli stink ma..sorry ar randel..but juz narrating =P and i m sure u wun mind me! haha..

yup yup then at siloso,erm, we took a dip in e water? haha..tt was me and janice la..coz say vv hot ma...ya den after tt we joined e guys for v.ball..and oh my i sux at it big time! haha most of the time, i was running and picking up the ball oni la!(and geting a huge bruise on my wrist after tt! lousy me!) haha...yep then later all of us went into the waters and took a dip again? haha oni youjun and adrain swam..they swam to the near-by island? yep and youjun damm sweet la, haha go write "CC rox" on the sand, big big de...-nice- yep yep CC simply rox =) , oh ya and i saw louise and some oter cedarians! they were there doing cip? and then dey went e beach tehre take some pics? haha yep... after much playing in the waters, wif adrain splashing salty water non-stop at moi, we went up, played wif some sand then it was playing b.ball time! haha i tink tis part vv fun, the 7 of us split into 3-4, den we played. my team was nic and youjun and me..woohoo, nic rox at shooting la! haha most of e balls oso he score de, me oni sux at it..hehe...who cares? anw it was real fun...

soon it was getting dark? or rather bcoz we were tired and dirty? anw, we decided to go clean-up..haha then ar, went to the toilet, wah! so many ppl..haha so dey decided to walk to palawan beach e toilets there, supposedingly it is not as crowded? and randel said it was 400m oni!!! den we walk walk walk, still haven reach, den we became smart and took e tramp..its definitely more than 400 m la! haha..who cares...anw, we reched there and finally gt to bathe? okies, den e gurls went to bathe first..so me and janice went into e toilet...wah..i bathed full speed k, coz asked janice if she almost done, she said yes, so i pi-li-piang quickly rinsed then rushed out le first..took tink 10 min at most can? then ar, janice came out oni like 30min later? wa she cheated moi feelings la...haha somemore say she showered TWICE?!!! woo....anw the guys weren any better..haha..i learnt my lesson, nxt time shuld bathe longer...

anw, after tt we went harbourfront e hawker there and ate...eat le den go hme lor...haha den we took such a long time deciding on which route to take la..den me, randel,nic,youjun took nel...me take till kovan? yep then change 81..haha i prob e last to reach hme..but nvm lor..juz that was real tired when reached hme...

ar..ytd was such a fun day, though like oni half of e cheerleading peeps turn up, it was still qt fun, but nxt time we shall haf one where EVERYONE can go? hehe yep yep that would be vv nice =) ...although i know this entry is a long and damm narrative one, i dun care la..haha juz felt that ytd's outing was worth writing so much..but if u guys reading tis find it boring, oso nvm la...haha it probably will juz b a place for me to write my day..my fun-filled day..haha oh ya..

~^Muscle aches,blisters and bruises^~
~^Loads & loads of fun^~
~^Lurve C.C / C.C outing^~
~^C.C rox^~

6 june

2005-06-05T22:40:00.000+08:00

my mind and heart are now in turmoil can..all very confused, very luan, very not at ease...because e prob is our outing to sentosa change to tmr? budden since abbiiittt last min, i haf damm lot of ppl wif alot of things on..hai so pw mtg, some erm other outing...some dun feel like gg? hai i realli damm sian can? its like so excited over cc outing de..den now if everyone dun go, nt vv nice ba? as in nt vv nice when adrain and e rest of e coaches involved..as in u see ar, if we say okok we gg..then later oni afew turn up, its realli bad pang-sehing them? afterall, they haf been vv nice to us wad...

so yep, i juz hope u guys will turn up can? no matter wad, juz turn up? hai~ cya...i hope to..

4 june

2005-06-05T00:16:00.000+08:00

yo!! juz came to update abit..next thursday i meeting my cgtt peeps! wa so long nv see em le...realli realli realli mizz em loads...muackies! we gg bugis? haha though i shopped there e whole day 2 days ago..but its ok..we gg watch mr and mrs smith? yup yup and i wanna take lots and lots of neos! bcoz we are cgtt!!! cedar table tennis rox forever! everyone of u are my darlings! =)

haha still rmb...cgtt was a huge part of my cedar life..it probably is one of my motivators during those days..bcoz i lurve trgs, i lurve e peeps there...esp quarreling wif my dear jaz, play comp wif my fellow peers..writing letters..kanna trashed...going thru thick and thin together..we teared, we laughed, we sobbed...but no matter wad, we were united as one, our hearts linked...we were great weren we? our spirit..our lurve..our bond...

i hope all these haven changed...bcoz i would want all these lovely stuff to continue instead of juz being sweet memories..hugs people...

*cgtt rox forever*

3 june

2005-06-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

yo!!! today i vv happy!!! u noe y? bcoz my LC is together again! LC *muacks!* i lurve joanne and janice! yeah!! all tt happened was a misunderstanding! and its now all cleared! haha...now think ar, we like abit silly...but its ok i guess, we learn frm our mistakes...and now, as i promised, i will walk out of my shell, dun be so conscious le! and i guess, on my part, i was a little petty oso ba?? hehe ok la mayb abit more than abit..bu oh well i lurve my LC and my CC! u guys rox my world...

and yep nxt wed CC gg sentosa! wif our darling coaches, eh adrain n e rest ba! so peeps..those gg hor meet at 1 at harbourfront k? b there! i miss you all! mUacks!

oh ya today and tmr is leo camp, but damm boring can? so sian la! then halfway i left go meet my janice and joanne...then we talked talked talked and cleared all e misunderstanding..then we shop shop shop...and took neoprints! so nice and sweet la! aawww...=) yeah but feel a llliitttlllleee bad in pangseh-ing leo, but its ok..hehe...afterall dey wun miss me! but i do noe i so sweet and cute, mayb they will miss me abit? ok la, definitely more than abit! =)

i do hope, my days in future can be as sunny, cheerful and sweet..add in a dash of spice and loads of lurve! *hugs*

30 may

2005-05-30T20:13:00.000+08:00

To add on to my previous entry... pls k, at any point of time, if u ppl read my blog read untill vv bu shuang then dun read! geddit? dun gt so upset over wad petty insignificant me writes. my blog is juz a place for me to vent everything out...nt a place for u to intrude into my life..okay?!

30 may

2005-05-30T13:10:00.000+08:00

ytd was youjun's and shaun's bdae...but shaun nt in spore so we went orchard to celebrate youjun's bdae...though it is forever e same old orchard, i was so excited in e morn as i baked youjun's choc cake and prepared to leave hse...i miss my C.C...and its been so long since we had a C.C outing...

anw...after much rushing and running for buses...i reached rchard on time..haha at 1, and as usual i was e first one..its ok...e anticipation of meeting the C.C peeps overcame everything else...soon one by one came...then we went taka. at taka, we stoned..haha act. went there to meet shuli one, but after mtg shuli, we jus stoned at taka, e outside macs there..but its ok...but i juz feel vv bad, as in to like waste youjun's bdae away like that...sorry for not planning much youjun...we wil make it up to u one day?

Anw, after much sian-ing around, they decided to play pool..so we went lucky plaza...but upon reaching that pool place n lucky plaza, shuli, janice n i felt tt e place was erm...really sleezy n we dun realli feel comfortable there...so we went out of lucky plaza n started shopping for scrunchies..haha...anw, lucky plaza's lift realli sux...

E 3 of us juz laze at...shop at far east plaza...and so on..then it was time for shuli to leave for her ballet lesson..so left me and janice. Den janice accompanied me to look for my bro's bk, some weird bk tt both kino and borderd dun haf stock at e moment...but oh well, everything above is nt exactly impt, and is nt e main idea of my tis entry..e main idea is when after being at kino for qt some time, we decided we feel bad leavin e rest at e pool place...so we went bac lucky plaza..

But things juz aren't e way we thought...we went back coz i missed the peeps there...bcoz afterall we went for like 2 hrs plus? yep, so when me n janice went bac, we found tt e rest were occupied wif their own stuff, half playing billards, half chatting among themselves...then when we went in, it was like they didn even acknowledged our existence? they juz keep on doing wad dey did, even when i tried toking to someone, she juz ignored and asked me to wait, the same applied to janice. The both of us were like outcasts? we juz stood there dumbly and stared at all tt is ard us, though physically near, but all our hearts seemed to be separated...anw, me and janice started to feel upset, like we didn belong there, like our existence doesn even make any difference - whether we were there or not doesn matter...so e both of us decided to leave e damm sleezy pool place...we juz held hands n left...

As we left, as we walked, my dear janice n i had a long talk...both of us were damm upset and affected by e fact that we didn really mean much to our SUPPOSEDINGLY CLOSE C.C....tt we seemed to be drifting away from them...and that there juz doesn seem to be anymore C.C...the C.C which i treasured so much, the C.C tt was so close, the C.C which held a common bond, the C.C i lurve so much...janice and i recollected on the past fond memories we had we C.C...where C.C outings meant so much to us, and that we often looked forward to it as a form of seeing all e cheerleading peeps...our dearly treasured clique... yet recently, we juz felt outcast, that we didn belong anymore, like we are 2 different entities and tt we dun cross, like 2 parallel lines...it juz wasn like the close C.C we used to be..and it juz realli is saddening...

During dinner, janice and i were really quiet..for we realli were damm sad inside us..though we forced ourselves to smile...afterall its youjuns bdae and i dun wanna ruin it...e 2 of us juz sat at one end of the long table and started talking among ourselves..sharing how much we loved C.C, e long journey that all of us haf took together, but now our C.C future juz seems bleak...or at least juz for janice and me...to us, we feel and worry tt we will juz split from C.C...afterall janice from another jc, and I, from some damm ip thing that separates me frm the rest..oh ya n then janice showed me her hp wallpaper - a grp foto of C.C after our competition...i juz couldn take it and teared..after which janice brought me to e toilet..in e toilet, i cried and thought..how could all these happen to us? as in its oni 1 n a half month since e end of our cheerleading comp, and even so, for several wks after e comp, e C.C went out, and those were e times when we had pure fun together, where everyone's hearts and souls belonged to the clique...but now everything seemed to changed..i told janice that i really wanna change all these, but i m nt sure how to either..talk to C.C peeps? janice was against tt,she said it wun helped..so wad can i do? i realli dun wan to juz sit bac and watch everything i held so dearly slip away frm me...yet...i feel helpless...

Also, i wanna apologise to youjun...sorry for making ur bdae celebration so sian and so boring...and sorry for having u to eat 6 slices of cake? u realli didn haf to, but i do appreciate it..

Juz wanna conclude to tis long entry...that I LURVE C.C..and i realli dun wanna lose it..it is already a huge part of me, and if i have to lose it, it will b as gd as losing a huge part of my life...i guess all i could do now is hope that our C.C's hearts will beat as one, and nv have to split...for now to me, the future(as regards to C.C) seems uncertain and definitely isn't vv positive...but i do haf some hope, some small fire within me still burning...for the day when we could go bac to e gd old times we had...i lurve all of u guys in cheerleading and i really hope to see us united as one again..

P.S wanna see our gd old times? pls do, go to the cheerleading album and see for urself wad we used to be. and compare... http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2128083009

28 may

2005-05-28T19:07:00.000+08:00

yeah!!! gamma titans are the champs! *mUacks*!!! so proud of you guys! all of you really endured, perservered, and like izzat said, shed everything that could be shed, blood, sweat etc... ! S-U-C-C-E-S-S!GAMMA GAMMA IS THE BEST! S-U-C-C-E-S-S! GAMMA GAMMA BEATS THE REST! YEAH! yup, all the gammanians rox! =) although tis time gamma didn win overall sports carn champs, but its ok, we carn always be e champ for everything, juz as long as we did wad we could and gave it our best shot...and besides we won TITANS! didn we? BUT BUT BUT...nxt yr...gamma will be champs for as many stuff as we can..esp....CHEERLEADING! yup sports day and sports carn, and road run and other events will be ours! LISTEN UP DELTA! i muz admit yr 2005 so far is your yr...BUT, it will be the one and only and last year! GEDDIT? nxt yr, the following yr and following yearS, it will be gamma! and oh ya, delta ar, no more dirty plays from u man!

mmm today is e first day of june hols le, then tis morn had ip open hse...ai ya actually...i muz say, so far TILL now, i haf not regretted joining TA..bcoz there aint much in cedar for me to miss...EXCEPT my beloved darlings!!! MY CEDAR FAMILY (2C)! CGTT! YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND! MISS YOU ALL LOADS! **hUgs**

yup and tis june hols...my resolution is...dun waste time! no more wasting of my youth! i m gg to make full use of tis hols, do wad i've always wanted too...hehe..which includes cooking! baking!improving my maths! getting fit!!!AND MANY MANY MORE! NOT FORGETTING DREAMING!!!

yep, i will stll dream! dream of e day when things will go my way, e day when eveyrthing will be sweet and purfect, e day when i no longer NOT exists in you world... =)

21may

2005-05-22T00:41:00.000+08:00

mmm...previous posts seem to be depressing and all..guess i was realli affected by several incidents...but i realise, after much thinking and all...i will nv gif up! no matter how tough the circumstances may be, how slim chances of success are, i will gif my vv best and perhaps thru my determination and endurance, i would be able to pull it thru, and get wad i've always been waiting for, yearning,wishing dearly for...

in my previous post, i said i am a nobody to everybody, one that nobody wants...till now my stand haven changed much...but i learnt something...even if the world despises you, hates you, dun wan you...i must learn to treasure and be proud of myself! If nobody else would, i would be the one holding myself up! I would be independent and even if i fall, i would get up fast. Even if i may get injured, even if i may bleed, even if there is a scar left behind, i would get on with life...i wun let this small failure to put me down..

i'll always try to be as cheerful as i can, for no matter happy or upset, i stil haf a life to live...and since people dun care about me, all e more i would be happier! To show that i can survive despite all the negative situations i am caught in, despite all the failures and rejections, i will be strong and move on...

perhaps one day, my life would not be as dull, as plain, and as sad...perhaps it wun be a slice of plain white bread, my life would be enriched, perhaps have some fillings such as walnut and banana, some strawberry jam or chocolate spread over it? Call me a dreamer, but aren't dreams suppose to keep the fire within us burning? so yep i pray and hope for this day to arrive, one where my life would be wonderful and sweet...

25 apr

2005-04-25T21:24:00.000+08:00

i am a nobody to everybody...seriously i guess i am juz nothing in anyone's life, i am probably juz a fading shadow, a passing shadow or just a memory, a fading one too...i guess i am just too insignificant to be of importance to anyone...everyone would be loved, would be wanted, would be accepted...anyone but me...and i guess thats just the fade i gotta accept...i am bound to lead a lonely life...

i've tried, i tried never giving up hope, yet circumstances and reactions juz keep on discouraging me, that what i am doing is for nothing, and that no matter wad i do, i am still i - a nobody, nothing, worthless and unwanted. i can be a piece of tissue, used and thrown away, or i can just be a broken rag doll thrown and abandoned in a dark corner and nobody cares...

I hate this life of mine, one which have no hope, one which have no happiness, no sweetness of life. I dreamt, i fantasized a better life, one which is sweet and oozing with pure and natural honey...but now i finally understand the difference between dreams and reality...what u dream for never come true, what u wish for is just a wish that will never be fulfilled.

tired, i give up.

3 april

2005-04-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

yo! ytd cheerleading damm fun k! haha ivy and her bf is damm nice la!spend so much time to help u! thanks alot!u guys are simply marvelous!

haha yeah n learnt new stunts oso...vv happy...budden yeah ytd guess mayb too stressed or pms-ing? haha kep blowing my temper, then so easily irritated...so sorry k peeps whom i scream at..did not mean it...hehe...but well overall, i seriously plus sincerely pray and hope gamma will win e comp tis yr...after all e efffort we put in, e sweat, blood?(no la hor, mayb bruises oni..hehe)...erm laughter definitely! yeah! thx u guys! u bring so much laughter and joy anf fun and sweetness into my once plain and boring life...u guys rock my world and i simply am proud and love every single one of you =)))

18 mar

2005-03-18T23:17:00.000+08:00

ohpuh pls...u r still stinking my life, just get out man! the place is reserved, just shoo! u sux man, bhb plus wallow, cannot stand it, the most ungentlemanly person i ever see, sux la, useless, hopeless one...oh puh pls, seriously la, take a look in the mirror..oh gosh, i feel like vomiting at ur sight, seriously i juz dun see any good in u....poor pathetic soul that fall from the sky...y land on earth?! go straight to HELL la! siao!

i noe i may sound like siao char bo..but well my blog juz bcame my venting machine..haha dun care la, i not shuang juz trash here le...my god, in ife i haf met dozens of nice ppl, but 1 rotten egg really stinks it all la...sickening...no mood write properly...sorry peeps...b bac another day...haha...

get out of my life

2005-03-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

oh pls! get out of my life once and for all! seriously, u r stinking it and ruining it...the essence of it just destroyed my life man...i wan a gentleman even for a fren man, not some despised low down rat, one who is downright petty and carn even take comments...forget it man! dun even bother toking to me, i will deem u as someone tt aint worth toking to...geddit?! so ar, just get out and let me return to my happy world?it sux even hafing to know u man!

mmm...anyway i shall be happy and haf fun and enjoy my life as it is, enjoy my youth and woohoo lead e most wonderful and meaningful and full and fulfilled life...=) smiles man!
seriously, i tink my life now i vv satisfied wif it? as in i really enjoy it la...i enjoy wad i am doing, i do stuff bcoz i wan to and i am happy doing them...yeah and so i wun mind staying the way i am too =)

btw...these few days...i have been dreaming...haha realli...bout my one =)...haha dream then haf la...mmm....smt i came up wif: the sky may fall, but i trust you'll catch me first...nice?! hehe got 2 meaning, 1 is e guy i will trust absolutely so much so tt even if e sky falls, i noe he will be there. secondly is..hehe hope he haf e strength to can carry me de...muz physically strong la...meaning...

hehe...oh ya den my one muz haf a good personality de...muz be gentleman la, wallow cannot petty ma, if not how to give in to petty me? =P yup, treat me as a lady ma...=P yup, then erm muz damm devoted, den ar oh pls, dun ever be bhb type man...as in stop praising urself like u de bez those type? wah...i cannot stand la..hehe...oh ya muz always b there for me...then ar i hate those whole day tink chim stuff wallow then make me feel damm stupid those kind? its like i am those qt simple-minded de, wun xiang so much one...so yeah....mmm...then ar, i seriously hope theres one day when i can meet my one k, but i guess, i noe my own limits la,
as in i oso dun haf e tiao jian, carn possibly ask for much...thats y perhaps i m dremaing lor...yeah cont. dreaming...the sky may fall, but i trust you'll be there to catch me first =)

10 mar

2005-03-10T18:36:00.000+08:00

today so boring la...stayed home,nv go sch...ankle swollen ma...but tink now abit better? haha anyway tmr go bac sch damm busy la...market day and maths day and haha temasek idol? oh well...guess e maths test sux e most...hope things would turn out well...pray...

and hope my ankle recover asap...need it alot man, nd to go for table tennis trg, cheerleading prac...the i miss swimming and kanna tanned...miss jogging to destress...hai oh pls my dear ankle...come on recover and return me my life man...

sch hols coming..but well y dun i feel excited? haha anyway tmr, getting my contact lens...1 month oni la, for cheerleading purpose de...haha wonder how it'll be, also hope my eyes can adapt? haha oh my...my life seems to be full of unexpected stuff, like hu noes wads gg to happen next? its hard to predict...hai...perhaps oni then life would haf its surprises? diao, tis is getting chim and since i m such a simple-minded girl, shan go on thinking bout it...haha...

mmm...u noe, somehow i really trust some people but realli dun trust some people at all...some i would trust my life in their hands - that they would catch me wherever i fall...but some...hai...no matter wad u do, i juz carn trust him/her..oh well...dunno wad i toking about...but well, guess ppl hu noe me well, would noe hu i referin in which category..well...life's juz like tt..cya...haha...

7 mar

2005-03-07T22:23:00.000+08:00

yo...just realise my blog is rotting..haha like so long nv update le la..but well i really damm bzy la...den now its like juz squeeze sometime to refresh my blog...haha...

well..these few days really trying damm hard to juggle everything la...so many test and projects and trainings and cheerlading practices...and hse function juz flew by...(phew)..woah serious ly la, can juz break down anytime k...so paiseh k, today dinner time eating wif cheerleading peeps den juz broke down..hai so damm stressed and pressured by e damm hist. test la...felt overloaded man,,,like "a toothpick tt cna break anytime"..but well, let me tell u tis, toda i borke down once...and i hope i cna make it e last.. i wanna survieve and i will...i wun break down anymore...or at least i will try....the people around me are damm encouraging and i wun let them down...

sian la den like so injury-prone nowsday...friday hse function den walk wlak wlak like blind like tt juz slip fell and sprain my ankle...but slightly...but still pain...haha...den sat cheerlading go injure my wrist..oh well, glad i better now le...haha tts a consolation man...shall be more careful

anyway, some stuff are fun, people are nice and sweet ad supporting...and well wad else can i ask for la? well..no time now la..update u guys some other time k?
sorrryyyyy for such a brief and complaining entry,,,haha but now not tt bad le la i guess....juz wanna say thx to e ppl aournd me..u guys rock my world and i wouldn't haf known wad to do without u guys k...

5 feb

2005-02-05T15:23:00.000+08:00

boo! haha i am like so sian now? but anyway ytd was such a fun day!!! chinese new yr carnival rocks man! table tennis booth rocks more! neoprints galore!woohoo! haha...sorry still abit high, 'hangover' of fun from ytd..hehe yups and buisness was great man! overwhleming! yeah! haha $$$!!! anyway, haha me took 1 foto wif wenshan =) so nice k...bleah but anyway i l00k terrible...but its ok, e 2 shans take foto together so nice =)) ... yup, and hmmm...haha

anyway, yup i baking cookies soon leh, for CNY...yeah and speaking of CNY, tues i m gg bac cedar!!!woohoo!!! haha yup go bac see see den after tt go bac rosyth den go out...neoprints again! haha cannot help it la, so long nv take wif u guys le...hehe...me veh excited k! woohoo! haha see i m high again...

hmm anyway, so many things happen these few days...hai~ some happy some sad but anyway, wun say it out la, bcoz ya, haha coz my cedar peeps, hu is my only fans of my blog wun understand...and i dun wanna u all to noe either =PPP *cheeky smilez* haha...bleah...anyway i m gg to b happy and smile smile and smile, laugh laugh and laugh...whereever/whoever there is happiness, i'll be there =)))

2 feb

2005-02-02T20:05:00.000+08:00

hmmm...guess wad? i feel nowsday i am so damm happier la! hehe...really k, i smile more oso =)) oh well...its a good thing really...hha and i learn to control myself better, dun flare so easily le...hehe...

anyway...trg was tough ytd, train until my hand got blister k, yucks, but oh well, comp coming le...but well, seriously lor, its not much confi de lor...hai~ juz goin to gif my best shot lor, and hope everything turns out well...

and den today was such a fun day too, bio lesons were chao farnie la...esp. the tcher...haha realli veh lame k she, haha make us all laugh so much...nice =)) hmm...yup den after sch had cheerleading meeting...hmmm...soon gg to be realli bzy...den ya but i scared i cannot do well leh...wan gamma to win leh...but well, everything's gonna b real tough...but i am gg to survive man! yup!no matter wad, i will try my vehveh best!! hehe..well right after e meeting was the leo thing - wrapping hampers for fri' CNY carnival! woohoo!haha but anyway, there was chao many volunteers lor, so but e time we spilt the work, there wasn't much left to do? hehe...yup and speaking of CNY carnival...haha hope it turns out well ba, fun too....oh ya ppl! go support our TT booth k???!!! its gg to be...neoprints galore!!!have photos taken wif ur fren at reasonable prices! hehe...diao right? advertising here...but anyway..hehe being lame la i noe...haha

hmmm...den today i learnt a hehe...evil evil secret...but tis secret makes me feel secure man...haha kor u are dead man...too bad boi...haha =PPP

24-28jan

2005-01-29T08:48:00.000+08:00

mmm...haha apparently i m like updating my blog once a week? but well guess its still better than nothing la k? Anyway, tis week seems to have so much happenings and i haf alot of things to apologise for...

For me being petty and unreasonable and mood-swingy and short-tempered, sorry to u guys out there, esp. lester. haha u everytime ended up my victim. sorry i didn't mean wad i say and do...ok? and btw, i am back to my old self peeps....that is no more os this childish stuff of getting jealous easily, flaring up easily...i swear promise vow i am trying my veh best to control myself...i wun let myself lose control and start kicking or crying again...promise...

budden partly oso bcoz of maths too ba? hai~ maths lessons are getting scary and getting on my nerves. maths is making feel like i noe nothing and am is a complete idoit plus useless person...diao la...all those geometry and all, like i understand like tt, so many steps and formulas need to apply...oh my, i juz not skilled in maths leh...but i oso xia ding jue xin, i m gg to conquer maths, though not possibly immediate, i will do my veh best and not b an idoit in maths anymore, the feeling realli realli sux...imagine spending amost 3hrs on 1 bloody qn, anf finally its solved?but not by u? my god...imagine e feeling, my god...haha oh my miss lee!!! i miss u leh! be my maths tcher again! i guess wif u around, any idoit can bcum a genius lor...sighs

haha yup and tis week had 3 trgs lor, tues,wed,thur...bleah qt physically tired, but oh well, guess it doesn't matter. i realise that exercising and sprinting during runs for PT is a great source of releasing stress...and u tend to run faster man! haha....conclusion: nxt time u wan to run fast in napfa or roadrun, go face some bloody maths qn, and i assure u, the anger and frustration in u is able to keep you for any distance...haha

well...guess in tis week, i grew up a little...really...i think i do leh..bcoz i tried changing myself and though haf not see results, i noe i am heading for the better? yes i will...i will... =)

long time no see...

2005-01-22T18:58:00.000+08:00

mmm...i feel so damm cut off from e world la...its like 1 week didn't go online to chat or wad so ever? damm com crash la...haha aniway..yup this wk tt passed was sweet, wasn't it? filled wif smiles and laughter and all?yupss...and lets see k,

dunno leh, maths lesson was terrible, e tcher sux.he toking like in foreign languauge k! den so egoisti and bias as well! carn stand him la, wanna puke., compare him to my sweet and patient ms lee...bleah..yup e rest of lessons was ok i guess,,,trainings were nice too, though tough,but i sure can gert realli fit and all =) den ar, i joined leo club too...today's first activity was to gif out leaflets and tell em e nxt collection and all?yup den climbed up and down e stairs to gif door to door k,den finally we had e decency to slid it into letter boxes..haha..

yup ao far school had been nice and all, oh ya den somehow me and ya e few of us haf bcame so on on b.ball la...haha..yup its like on tues we went, ytd went too...but i totally sux at it k, its like haha throw 10, oni half a ball got in..its realli tt bad, but well we all begin like tt right? yup and its like now is tampinese addicted or smt or rather macs addicted?hehe yeah its like verytime after sch go there, den ended up chatting at e macs =)

well...dunno when i will nxt update tis le,but well and above is everything in quick brief..so yup...till den...everyone stay happy and smiles!!!

boo.

2005-01-07T20:33:00.000+08:00

boo!~ tis few days haf been rather bzy la...adjusting to new life and planning a design for my new classroom! yes its chao fun k! we went to ikea, look at stuff, discussed these and tt, then my dear classmates spent so much time doing mock-up...good job i must say! yeah! and though its like how much time we spent quarrreling over designing,painting and fianlly after good old 4 long tiring days...presentation!

yeah we won second!!!!! yeah!!! efforts paid off! i so happy la!!! hehe...it was really hard work k, shout and tok till throat hoarse la...yes den now we haf $500 in our pocket...wonder how much e sch want to give us. the $4000 as they promised or less? hai~ lets hope its enuff to haf our sofas, high tables, high chairs, bar tops, walls nice done up!!! ar!!! i so xcited la! but even if got money oni march hol den can be done!!!hehe!so fun!so nice!

but well nxt week lessons starting le. how?! like haf alot of things nd to cope wif...still got wad rubbish chinese literature la! help me! ok den its like i seem to b getting a terrible maths tcher k...haiyo scared leh...its like wad sci fundamentals, maths fundamental, language arts,geog,history,music and art appreciation, integrated subs, and my FAVOURTIE chinese literature...oh my i juz goin to die la k...

well...i am still missing cgtt ppl, mildred,angela,kailing,pandora and many others!mayb i will be bac soon?!

yes!be back soon!i miss ew!!!hahaha.tis nice person is posting fer mag.i shall keep my identity a secret.hehehee......magdelene!cum back soon larhhh!!!!!!!=))))

2004-12-25T22:18:00.000+08:00

woah...in the blinking of an eye, a year just flew me by...really, it still seemed as if it was e 1st of jan 2004. i dunnoe but i feel my 2004 haf been monotonous yet so many things seem to happen? i am confused, but well i guess i shall just flashback on my year...

well the year began qt badly for me i must say. firstly my grandma passed away on 1st jan, yeah, farnie right? i thought so too, and i thought it was goin to be a reallli bad yr, and it turned out to be in some instances, i'll elaborate later k?

well yes and its sec 2, e so called impt. streaming yr.every wk there seems to be endless tests to study for, and i feel i ended up spending most of my time in those freaking lousy books of mine, yet i had no choice but to bury myself in it: streaming yr right? yeah right and there will be bound to be homework everyday, weekly tests, especially maths. yes ms lee i guess e tests does put us through the mill. thanks for being such a wonderful tcher though everytime we see you its test and more tests.

ok streaming is one thing, tis yr somehow perhaps by luck or smt, i get to play comp, notice i use the word 'get to', meaning its by chance, the team no more better players then use me one la, geddit? ok then its like woah, trainings were realli tiring, hours and hours thrown i weekly, tues,thur,fri,sat. without fail i must say, i salute myself for that too. and finally its the zonal comp, well played matches won some lost some. haha...but my luck didn't last tt long, i had a head-on wif the old coach and he had a pretty bad impression of me i muz ase, but till now i still acrn forget tt incident, that incident tt made me lose my temper, made me lose my mind, made me lose myself. and yet i have to apologise for smt till now i dun see wrong in doing. sorry tchers and coaches, i didn't mean my apologies. it was meant to sooth your ears and make you feel you were right. realli, i wun admit i m wrong bcoz i dun see wrong in my doing. its juz tt u people dun understand so just forget it. but still i haf smt still in my heart i need to say though it may sound immoral, indecent, ungrateful to whoever is reading tis. yes old coach, i am grateful in some ways whereby u taught me how to 'ya' my balls, teaching me to smack my ball WRONGLY, i must emphasize. ok but tts not e pt. yes i admit u are the one who coached me from nothin to smt now, but YOU carn deny the fact that YOU carn claim all the credit because i put in lots of effort myself. how long did u trg me? 3-4 months? ha! ok forget bout the skills part, i hate it when u use your status as a coach to humiliate me, scold me infornt of dozens, treated me like an object, a ball to be precise, or rather a piece of worthless rubbish which you can throw anytime away. and pls la, dun keep harping on your good old times old man, they are GONE. you cannot deny that fact. dun keep priding yourself as the ONE on top of the world. you aren't! you no longer haf any chance to push me, scold me, insult me. i hate you for all the things you did to me, and i wun ever forgive nor forget. only glad thing of me leaving cgtt is i wun be able to see you again, though u only cum bac once in a blue moon. but it definitely angered and agitated me at the sight of you. you make me wanna puke. yes, enuff of tis part of my yr, pls people if you tink i m ungrateful to tis guy here, pls think wad u want. YOU NEVER KNEW WAD I WENT THROUGH. YOU NEVER WILL.

next setback in my life, the next thing i haf to go though is jialing's departure. sorry people, if i open up your wounds again, but i juz wanna talk. yes, jialing, i miss you, will always love you, will rmb you as the one who teach me my first ever service. i still remembered those things you said while you taught. i never will forget the sms-es you sent me. they are still in my hp, i will keep them. yes you will always be remembered as my great senior, great fren. lurve you lots.

yes the next major event coming up is the temasek intergrated program ba. the interviews, tests and everything i went thru and yes and i haf to leave cedar, the place where i haf lived so far. seriously i dun tink i will miss much of cedar, juz my close fren, cgtt, and perhaps the cedar spirit. u will not be forgotten my dear fren, u haf already occupied a place in my heart. lurve u guys, and i mean it.

well, above seem to be sad stuff and all, well 2004 haf its joy too. oh ya i will miss 2004 sec 4s of cgtt! u guys are the greatest seniors ever!i wun forget the june bbq...haha yes i guess i prefer tt to the so-called chalet. camp was the best i must say! we organise for long and i guess i enjoyed it pretty much, except for the food ba...hehe...and well, i guess we cgtt sec2s got really close tis yr, i hope we wun separate, hope we will stay in contact. and though i wun be there always, pls :michelle,jazzy,shuen,leeza,mingjin,jessica,sheena...pls stay united! i want our batch to be the most united batch, ok?

conclusion ba, i guess 2004 haf indeed be a qt substantial yr, wif diff things and happenings, fren and joy, sorrows and struggles. indeed i feel i struggled the most tis yr in my entire 14 yrs of life. i dunnoe y, mayb bcoz everything came at one shot and i wasn't prepared? i dunnoe, but well...i guess above briefly summarise my yr 2004. although i noe the part about tt old coach was abit mean, but i couldn't help it, i must say it out no matter how bad u guys tink tt is. its my life anyway. 2004 is coming to an end. i hope hope and hope 2005 will be a better yr where i will smile instead of frown and drown in the big big sea.

*jazzy darling posted this post. jazzy will miss mags alot and wishes tat mags will come back wif a present for jazzy whenever she comes back to visit

2004-12-14T21:45:00.000+08:00

...whee... 2 weeks went pass in a flash and back to training! woah...actually the feeling of going back hafing comp and so on qt nice sia...mMm...na i am not insane, juz tt ya perhaps juz mis it ?

anyway, haha i came to a conclusion okay, tt ar whenever i plan smt in advance, say a few days or a week, it always turn out bad. haha budden ar if i last min plan at least haf some certain ans leh... pro arh =P

ai yo cum, u all guess wad? i grew fatter again! but i hope i gain weight coz is i grow taller but it doesn't seem to be tt case1 how?! dunnoe leh! and i keep kanna disfuigured la! pimples are breaking out at an uncontrollable rate??!!!!! wad am i suppose to do? its an epidemic man! h3Lp! die... i noe k i may b abit(abit only ar =P) vain budden u see, fats and pimples are pushing me off the edge la, so ugly and so out of shape, ai yo tis time is e end le... hai~ e world got miracle anot?

oh ya and now ar i finally understood the feeling og hafing no $$$ in ur pocket...haha...realli qt chum la, tt dae we roam e whole orchard, anted watch movie or go k-box but no $$$, sad ar? ai ya, see ugly, out of shape and no $$$, terrible combination =P

mm

2004-12-09T00:04:00.000+08:00

....haha...todae finally went to east coast...me, shuen, mj, leeza meet at bedok mrt at 9? no one was puntual!(inc.me la k) haha... leeza was 5 min late, me 7 min late, mj bout 20 min ba? shuen 45 min!!! she pro la...haha everytime late de..ok den we went interchange wanted to take bus la, my bro told me it was 410, so we go see, dun haf! den shuen dey all said its 401, ok den there haf, so we went to see but alas! It only operate on weekends! ok then we took 196 but well walk qt long la...

ok den reach there we go rent bike, veh fun la! mj hehe so scared fall! ok la shall not tease her la...so poor thing le tt princess of accidents..den wewent to play send go write words build our castle! yesh! wijaya was there too wif her claz pple...so nice la...yesh...den we took lots of fotos too =)

den we were deciding b/twn cine,bugis and dunno wad areas la, wanted to watch movie ma..budden reach l met michlle den dun wan to watch le,,,,haha not bcoz see michelle den dun watch la k =P ... juz ya...soo we juz went shoping around whole of orchard la...now ar my leg so damm painful la...disgusting...k tis shall b short entry coz its late....cya!

sad sad eugene posted this =( she didnt mention me. *cry*

yo sly got a contract too!

2004-12-02T19:57:00.000+08:00

...wad rubbish la...still carn believe tt taufik actually won k, how can HE win la? wad does he haf to win la?! ai yo... muz b he cast spell on those innocent young girls and make them vote for him...muz be one, if not ar those pple muz haf stamps pasted over their ears and eyes man...yucks...disgusting la! sylvester definitely still rocks la, will be my idol man, not some lousy freaky arrogant cocky guy.hMph! for example ar, ytd they boht sing tt 'i dream'..phew! sly sing one was so damm pro la! its like so sincere, put his heart into singing, now like taufik, carn even feel e song man...disgusting.... but ar, e good thing is i juz heard on e news that BOTH(wonder y taufik fits e bill la) sly and taufu are offered contracts from the recording companies! yeah! sly rocks! yesh! when boht haf album, i swear i will not buy tt smelly toufu's album but sly's! yes! hmpH! tel whoever reading k, if u all are some fans of taufu and bu shuang to wad i sae k, betta no sperming man i tel u pple, dun try anithing funny on MY blog la! u bu shuang den bu shaung la, bu shaung now tt sly got a contract too? too bad la..haHAHA!

way away away from me....
blogging for mag means i can put anything i want!ahhh hello
=nellie blogged this=

ermm.. she didnt gimme a title. haha..

2004-11-29T21:29:00.000+08:00

...oh well i tink i m getting betta...thx pple for all ur help, thx eugene for ur nite of advice, u shone some light on me...u made me feel i not tt useless afterall, at least someone in e same plight as me? yes xie xie once again... i hereby sincerely apologise for flaring up, for showing black faces, for hanging up on e phone, for not replying sms-es...sorry, realli sorry... those hu noe me well should noe i ish like tt e right? but still, dui bu qi, yuan liang wo ba. wo bu shi you xin de. =)

i tink its nice to laugh...u noe wad? i read in a magazine tt ar, laughing hard for 20 sec is equal to 20 min of exercising man! mMm..should try tt to lose weight har? haha...long time nv laugh la, its nice, its nice to smile too, its juz nice not hafing to frown out of your will. i like tis feeling, but hope it will last, though notin ever lasts, does it?

mMm...i change my conditioner k, actually is use organics and soft and silky one, then i change to the long and strong one...cause my hair like chao weak la, hope it does help lor, if not i will soon go bald. veh bad k, pple ask if i went for thinning of hair, nv k! tis shows tt ar, hai~ i m like balding and getting fat la! signs of ageing? dunnoe leh, so scary...hehe... ok ya for those going for ltc and goin to haf lots of things tis week to do, jiayou k! set ur heart and souls into doing wad u haf to do and i am sure u will succeed. i m behind u!lurve u!~*muacks*

*euGeNe posted this! =))*

say mag dunt be depressed! we all love you

2004-11-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

...beginning to hate myself more and more...P.S if u tink u are lookinig at some loser's blog, juz discontinue looking down...u will tink it sucks. u see, i tink i am juz letting my life slip away, letting my youth slip away, letting the time slip away....bcoz i m a failure...a failure dun get things done, a failure juz loses everything he/she ever had (provided i even have anithing in e first place)

wad do u pple out think life is all about? to me, its an obligation...yesh..i live bcoz i seem to need to live...i live not bcoz i want to, not bcoz i haf smt in life to look forward to, not bcoz there's smt worth living for...i want to cry...but I am not worth the tears...tears are too precious, they outweigh me, i m juz a little fella not worth any tears, geddit?

I feel like i m an empty shell, with nothin in it, no past,no present no future,nothing to hold on to, juz dump me away...juz keep away from me, like u've been doing, i dun mind,i see e light at e end of e tunnel – nothing

2004-11-27T20:42:00.000+08:00

i m like so damm a failure la, nv ever managed to get things done... NEVER! its like start off wif cooking, i failed, now juz wanna go CYCLING oso damm hard la, i m like losing heart le lor...i hate these stuff la, like never ever can confirm one, and it juz is so damm depressing la, tis is not e first time le la...i hate myself, hate myself for being such a failure, hate myself for being so damm useless tt carn even get simple things done...such tt i wonder how can i ever accomplish big stuff..in my dreams la, maybe.har! wonder if i even get to dream, dun haf nightmare i should already be grateful.hMpH!

ok tis is to everyone hu act. tmr going de k, first and foremost sori we haf to postpone, but too many pple sick, we dun wan to cause further damage(yar right)...we will cum up wif a later date k? I will inform u all again..but i oreadi lost e enthusiam, e excitement, e happiness...

i seriously dun blame anyone, i noe its not ur fault u all sick, fall down, ltc, tired after ltc, i juz blame it on my incompetence. My apologies everyone. Forgive me for my rudeness and uselessness.

Today trg was like so chao little pple cum, again e stopid virus flying around la...the sec 2s so many sick, sec 1s somehow all go hol..today mostly oni sec 3s, me sheena and jess go oni....5 hours and we practically spend half of it slacking la, in my opinion la...
i hate e time i am wasting, hate the days i m losing, hate the fact tt hol will soon cum to an end, hate e fact that i haf nothin in life to look forward to, do i? do i ever have? i dun ever think so... it seemed like oni bad things will befall me, like i m a magnet for these stuff. HATRED is a seed planted deeply in my small small heart, but dun fear, the arrow of tis seed is directed towards small little old plain fat ugly me...so yeah..

2004-11-26T16:18:00.000+08:00

i wanna scream k! i m like growing so damm fat la! and the fats are growing in wrong areas la! how???!!!! its like e more i jog, e more i go trg, the fatter i get!!!! and ar...sobs... i dun wanna be fat fat, ugly! you noe, laz yr when i came cedar so fat k! then ar after sometime dunnoe why ar i lost 5kg k!!! BUT now slowly gaining them back...wad is tis la?!!! quick i will kiss/muacks/love the person who can tell me a fast way to lose those ugly stopid irritating fats!

todae is cedar prom!!! but i dun get to go, dun get to see my nice nice seniors wearing pretty pretty dresses,dun get to step into the MPH(my god lor, wonder why cedar so poor or so no clazzz....SCHOOL HALL leh...people one all is ballroom or hotels de...yucks!), dun get to step into the sacred hall, as ms lee always sae la...hehe cause impt.exams taken there ma...haiyo speaking of ms lee ar, so goin to miz her la! she is like woah! the bez bez bez maths tcher, bezbezbez HOD,bezbezbez tcher ever la! but she leaving i leaving too...

bleah... now alot of people sick, flu, fever...jaime whole dae cough cough cough,fever fever fever..michelle yeong after camp high fever..sheena fever too, ytd den ok now flu somemore...leeza worse, hai fever till now till haf not ok...jessica oso cough...haiyo why everyone so sick? u all muz take care k, muz look after ur health... love u guys...muacks...=))))))

2004-11-25T17:53:00.000+08:00

oh god... my com goin to crash le..how?how? then i no burner, no zip then no one haf external burner too... bleah... now ar trying to haf back-up copies budden my fotos and songs and all that dunno wad to do le...upload em like wad nellie said? but haiyo its juz goin to be chao ma fan man, stopid com...my bro predcit it wun last for long -same sentiments-

todae is the 25th le hor...3 daes ago was my bdae! yeah! so happy k, almost every1 smsed me...i luv u guys! *mUacks* and thx nellie, for sms-ing me when ur o'levels are juz nxt dae? thx alot...

Me was in japan from 18-23 la...so yups my bdae was there...quite ok la e trip but not as nice as my previous ones..ya tis time one too many seas and moutains and god noes wad...tt ar now i l00k at my fotos dun even noe is where take de le..bleah...BUT YA!tis one told jazzy they all le... here goes...

i never knew that chinese-jap mixed blood so damm cute, so damm shuai one lor! OMG! haha my tour group inside got one family, mother chi father jap and haf 4 sons...woah.... ok then the first 2 s00oo shuai k, the third one chao cute!!! the youngest one, eh... no comments...haha... k la i never da ta men de chu yi, i was so pure and clean minded...hehe... but yeah juz sharing wad i saw =)

Training/Cooking = depressing

2004-11-10T09:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday had training...had been looking forward to it actually...but who noes it turn out so terrible-bleah... my skills is like train more, deprove more one, so depressing plus discouraging k! Then its like train already oso no motivation le... hope friday training will be betta...

Then on monday ar... hai~ ok i noe tis story many of you heard le-through my complains and whines kz, but i shall sae again coz i still haf not shuang yet..hehex. You see ar, mondae morn i went out, then ar on my way back i went to buy chicken, black pepper mix and capsicum to cook black pepper chicken. have i told u i have been trying to learn how to cook? Ok, then i started cooking at bout 5pm..cook cook cook then realise still haf some chicken left. Then my bro decided to cook it too (his own style la). Ok then after that haf to clean up right? Ya ok, so i wash everything, clean the stove area, mopped the floor(all i do one k! That bro of mine neva do anithing!)--But that ain't nothin much, i got used to doin it.

Ok but when my mum cum bac, the first thing she did was to start scolding me! Say wad i neva clean stove properly, mop not clean... scold scold scold so sad k! Then i so angry! But the point is: my bro neva clean up so he neva get any scolding! Like cleaning up was not his job or smt!, when i had to spend so much time cleaning and ended up kanna scolded?! Wad is this lor'?! Urgh! make until me now dun even dare to step into MY kitchen..perhaps other pple' kitchen lor...hehex..